Nabisco has released a special edition of its classic sandwich cookie, just in time for Halloween: Oreos with candy corn filling. This beats the July 4 special, the Oreo filled with a live M-80.
Eva: I didn’t even know candy corn and Oreos were dating … now they have a kid?!
Robert: When I eat regular Oreos, I want a glass of milk. When I eat these, I want a glass of poison.
(Weirdly, the filling lacks the waxy quality of candy corn, which Robert says is because it doesn’t have any quality at all.)
Eva: I bet these Oreos wish they could dress as regular Oreos for Halloween.
Ian: I think I have to egg Nabisco’s house now.
Robert: This was Dr. Frankenstein’s first experiment, but the result was so horrifying that he started using human corpses instead.
Miles: I can’t wait for “Apple with a Razor Blade” Oreos!
Ian: I hope these Oreos are vegan, so vegans have something to not eat.
Robert: Awww, this looks just like the cute little Oreos my kids used to make with Play-Doh. Except those were edible.
Eva: There are Double Stuf Oreos. Is there a way to do Zero Stuf Candy Corn Oreos?
[The verdict: definitely inferior to the original Oreo, but not as gross as expected, and weirdly addictive. Here’s what’s going on in my brain right now, as I sit 2 feet away from the unfinished package of Candy Corn Oreos: “Gross what a dumb idea EAT ANOTHER ONE regular Oreos are so much better EAT ANOTHER ONE DAMN IT Candy Corn Oreos are stupid EAT THEM TILL THEY’RE GONE YOU ARE POWERLESS.”]
Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait Wait … Don’t Tell Me!