[Note: Every year we celebrate the return of the McRib to McDonald’s menus by not eating one. Below, our original review, with some updates.]
Once again, the signs outside McDonald’s say “McRib is Back!” My girlfriend pointed out that it is indeed back. And front, and other parts probably best not to mention.
Eva: This reminds me of particleboard, but with meat.
Ian: It’s Particlemeat.
Mike: In the Garden of Eden, God made Eve out of Adam’s rib. Then he made Grimace out of a McRib.
You may notice that this year, the McRib has arrived later than usual. Usually, it shows up on menus in October.
Mike: The Shamrock Shake goes with St.Patrick’s Day. Why does the McRib come out in October?
Ian: Halloween. It’s non-food wearing a food costume.
Eva: Or because it’s the living dead.
Peter: I think it only comes out once a year because you need that long to forget it. Like childbirth.
Mike: Or because the gestation period of whatever freakish animal this comes from is 12 months long.
Mike: What is this? On the box, it should say “No Animals Were Harmed In The Making of this Sandwich.”
Peter: Now that I’ve had a bite, I’d like to go eat my actual lunch, but I’m afraid to eat.
Ian: Your stomach no longer trusts your hands and mouth.
[The verdict: it doesn’t matter. The McRib is just something you have to do. Like puberty. The McRib is like puberty.]
[P.S. Check out this piece about the meat sciencebehind the McRib.]