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Headless Households
In our editorial meeting after today's census show, we spent a few minutes knocking around the phrase "head of household." Deni Luna from the Census Bureau brought it up in response to a question about how different members of a family can check boxes for different ethnic or racial backgrounds.
"Head of household" seemed to strike all of us as an old-fashioned (and uncomfortably patriarchal?) way of thinking about families. Sarah noted that she'd probably make her three-year-old the head of the household, since he's basically in charge anyway. I figured that my wife would want to flip a coin.
But it turns out I won't need that coin. The phrase hasn't been a part of the Census for the last 30 years. This is from their website:
Beginning with the 1980 CPS, the Bureau of the Census discontinued the use of the terms "head of household" and "head of family." Instead, the terms "householder" and "family householder" are used. Recent social changes have resulted in greater sharing of household responsibilities among the adult members and, therefore, have made the term "head" increasingly inappropriate in the analysis of household and family data. Specifically, beginning in 1980, the Census Bureau discontinued its longtime practice of always classifying the husband as the reference person (head) when he and his wife are living together.
And they explain "householder" this way:
The householder refers to the person (or one of the people) in whose name the housing unit is owned or rented (maintained) or, if there is no such person, any adult member, excluding roomers, boarders, or paid employees. If the house is owned or rented jointly by a married couple, the householder may be either the husband or the wife. The person designated as the householder is the "reference person" to whom the relationship of all other household members, if any, is recorded.
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Head of household according to the above definition is based upon ownership and money. This term is misused according to how my family of origin and my immediate family are organized. Head of household refers to one who takes on the responsibility of the general direction of the family. The role of the wife and mother is far more detailed and nurturing. This is been very successful for generations in my family. The husband and father is not like the ugly paint a picture of the patriarch. My husband makes bread, helps with the children and does not make decisions that affect the whole family without serious contemplation as to their consequences. In short I can trust him for his humility and genuine love for our family.
I realized that does not exist everywhere. And I'm very sorry for those who have a different experience because as I have worked with economically challenged families I have seen men who misuse their authority in her home.
The structure of the family is central to the Creators plan for the eternal destiny of his chldern as evidenced by the only way a child can come into the world is through a father and mother.
The Creator has made this an absolute element of every child's life. They must have a father and a mother. People have messed up the structure because of selfishness. I believe we should do all we can to work towards bringing the plan and honoring the directive from the Creator.