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Final Footprints
My father and I talk about his funeral fairly often. He reminds me what he'd like: cremation, a simple service where we play his favorite music from the 40s, and a little plot with a plaque so his descendants can visit him in the future. Compared to many people's wishes, this is pretty minimalistic. But how would I feel if he decided to leave an even smaller mark on the earth and to have a "green funeral," perhaps a home funeral, instead? If I were asked to shroud his body and prepare him for, well, forever? In our continuing series on sustainability in Oregon we discuss new (or very old?) approaches to peoples' final footprints: green funerals.
There are many variations on green or eco-friendly funerals, many of which have been popular in Europe — or among various cultures and religions — for a long time. Sometimes the body is prepared at home by family and friends without the use of embalming fluids. Some employ death a death midwife. Metal caskets are replaced by wicker, cardboard, or even recycled newspaper; some even choose a burial shroud made out of biodegradable material. Burial grounds may be marked by rocks or wild flowers or sometimes only found by GPS. And sometimes people choose to bury their loved one much closer to home. Oregon is silent on the matter of private property burials. They are not unlawful, but also not recommended. (pdf)
In the latest issue of Smithsonian, writer Max Alexander describes his part in a home funeral:
I had been to plenty of funerals and seen many a body in the casket, but this was the first time I was expected to handle one. I wasn't eager to do so, but after a few minutes it seemed like second nature. His skin remained warm for a long time—maybe an hour—then gradually cooled and turned pale as the blood settled. While Holly and I washed his feet, Sarah trimmed his fingernails. (No, they don't keep growing after death, but they were too long.) We had to tie his jaw shut with a bandanna for several hours until rigor mortis set in, so his mouth would not be frozen open; the bandanna made him look like he had a toothache. We worked quietly and deliberately, partly because it was all new to us but mainly out of a deep sense of purpose. Our work offered the chance to reflect on the fact that he was really gone. It wasn't Bob, just his body.
Green funerals can drastically reduce after-life costs and can be much more environmentally friendly than the traditional American funeral. Advocates also make the case that home funerals are more meaningful for the living. But, are they? What pressure do these green wishes put on survivors? Do your last wishes include a home funeral? A cardboard casket? Or a burial plot in your backyard? Have you been asked to make any of these wishes come true? How green will your last footprint be?
GUESTS:
- Jerrigrace Lyons: Death midwife and owner of Final Passages
- Cynthia Beal: Owner of the Natural Burial Company, working on a book called Be a Tree: The Natural Burial Guide for Turning Yourself into a Forest
- Scott Logan: Secretary and treasurer of the Oregon Funeral Directors Association and general manager and funeral director at Finley Sunset Hills Mortuary
Tagged as: dying · sustainable oregon
Photo credit: Photo credit: Estherase / Flickr / Creative Commons
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Hello! I'm pleased know today's guests, JerriGrace and Cynthia, and have been blessed to work with them both. I'm delighted that they'll be talking about Green Burials and Home Funerals on the program. I make beautiful biodegradable burial shrouds and I'm "on a mission" to Change the way our culture faces Death.
Your questions about the potential pressure that 'green wishes' might place on one's relatives are good ones. I have two thoughts about this. One is that it's always a good idea to plan ahead. A few talks with your family, in which your wishes are made clear both verbally and on paper will go a long way toward relieving that 'pressure'. You can sort out the details and research what will be needed before the time comes. The second is that many of us are already seeking sustainable options in our lives so it only makes sense to carry this through to our deaths. As more of us share thoughts and ideas about this, we'll become better informed "funeral consumers" and will request alternatives based on sustainability and ecological concerns. As this grows, more options will naturally be made available to us and "green funerals" will (once again) be the norm. Thank you for contributing to that via this program.
Sincerely, Marian Spadone www.afinefarewell.com
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All monuments are transient absurdities. Everything I am existed as part of the Earth for 4 billion years and will still exist even after the sun has shrunk to a white dwarf 10 billion years from now. How people dispose of my body is up to them - throw it in a dumpster for all I care. All that matters to me is that everyone have a good time at my wake.
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What can you tell me about state and local laws surrounding burial?
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Do the same laws apply to burial of cremains on your property?
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I can tell you that there are few laws pretaining to private citizens taking care of their own. The "laws" pretain to licensed funeral directors. You can fill out a death certificate, have it filed, work with a cemetery, etc. I have a complete seminar for people who need names and phone numbers etc. A private cemetery such as Sunset Hills in Portland does not allow anyone except a licensed funeral director to deliver a body on their property even tho they do not own the plot--interesting. Most cemeteries are very co-operative however and very helpful.
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I am fascinated by your role as midwife. I worked at Our House of Portland for several years with people who were dying of HIV and I have always described it as so similar to being with someone who is givig birth - it is all about the honor of being with a person in their transition. It was a very sacred role to BE and to care for them during and after they die. Many people do not understand this, but birth midwives often see the conection. I hope to be able to work in that role again someday. Lauren Naytheee
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In 1996 my former partner died at Hopewell House. After he died, a good friend stayed behind to wash and prepare his body, which was cremated. We spread part of his ashes in a favorite spot of his up the gorge, and the rest of Gary stayed in a separate urn w/ me. In 2002, in a new relationship, I decided that the rest of Gary needed to rest in our backyard, which he helped landscape. So my current partner and I spread his ashes where he had done some landscaping. It felt so right for us to do this, and the plants just took off! I still look at that part of the yard with warm memories. When I go I want my body to feed and nourish the earth as it has fed and nourished me.
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The most important thing for me when I die is that my organs be donated to patients that are waiting for them. I can't imagine how wonderful it must feel for a family on an organ waitlist to finally get the liver, kidney, heart, etc. that they need, and my body will (probably) have plenty of functional organs that should be put to good use. It seems a shame to bury so many perfectly good body parts when they could easily safe a life--or 10.
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In 2000 I was priveleged to go to Varanase India and work a short while with the Sisters of Charity, Mother Theresa's organization. I was volunteering at one of the locations that took in the dieing. After being there a couple of days, one of the men died.
What happened next was one of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed. Three young men living in the 'home', which was located directly on the Ganges near the Ghats where the cremation ceremonies were conducted on piress of wood, began the process of preparing the body for cremation. They went and got two large poles of bamboo. Created a ladder-like looking rack splitting the bamboo. The then took a white shroud and laid it over the rack. They cleaned the body of the homeless and nameless man. They did it with dignity and love, all the while smiling and talking to one another. Gently cradling the body, they laid it on the shroud, wrapped it over the body and tied it to the rack. We were in the lower portion of the 3 story building, but there was a shaft in the middle that was open to the sky. The shrouded body was laying in the middle of the room in this shaft of light, and it was a sacred moment for me. There lay a human body that had made the transition, and I witnessed it being prepared for a death ritual that is so open and a part of life in India. They then took the body to a local oven, since the man was poor and couldn't afford the sandle wood pire. His ashes would then be put in the Ganges, which is an important ritual in India.
Ever since then, I have wished that I could die in India and have those boys treat my body in the manner they did this man. This topic being discussed here has given me hope tha this can happen here in the USA.
Thank you so much for bringing this to my attention.
Steve Potter
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My brother, Tim Simonsen of Littwiller-Simonsen Funeral Home in Ashland, taught me that the rituals around death and dying are the most important for the families and friends, not the expectations of the funeral directors. He has always been willing to work with the wishes of family. For example, for years he was the only funeral director willing to work with the Jewish community since they sit with the body 24 hr/day, not something most funeral homes will do. Along that same line, when a family wanted to keep their loved one's body at home for as much of the process as possible, he accomodated them and worked closely with the providers involved. More recently, he is the only Southern Oregon funeral director to pursue Green Burial Certification and has taken steps to insure families can utilize this option as well.
Judy Simonsen
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Please have your funeral director clarify that the "Laws" he mentions about 9:25-9:30 AM are applicable to "licensed funeral directors" and NOT to families who do NOT use a licensed funeral director but are "ACTING" as.
I have buried my husband and my mother without the assistence of a licensed funeral director in a regular cemetery and have helped with several other burials including Willamette National.
I have a complete seminar prepared that I use to teach interested people with all the rules and regulations etc.
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How does one find a death midwife in Portland?
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try:
www.spiraloflife.org
www.farewellassistance.com
or myself: www.generacion.nu 503.750.1515 (my website is doing something wacky this morning - should be sorted out soon.......) I can also give you a few more names if you contact me.
we are working on a local organization with a website etc.......
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So good to hear the presenters wisdom and compassion. When I die I want to be laid out on my dining room table (where my family and community gathers and feasts)...... I want to be dressed in my wedding dress surrounded by my children and loved ones....... I want to be sung to and read poetry for three days and I want some one to play from the Bach Cello Suites and Madredeus. I want to be returned to the earth in a simple shroud by candle light and song, weeping and rememberance........ in my own backyard. I want flower petals and essential oils, spices and earthy communion for all. Let me lay and rest and slowly return to the earth....... and then let there be feasting and merriment and the return of joy....... may our grief restore the sanctity of our souls.
Krista Arias www.generacion.nu
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I am so grateful to your guest speaker because my friend- Lucy Basler went to her training in California. We now have Sacred Ceremonies, Ltd under the direction of Lucy Basler in our local area of Webster, Wi. Last April 2008, my husband died at home as a hospice patient and we had a home funeral. This was our first experience with home funeral and my family and several friends saw this as a very blessed and special time and helped us all to deal with the sting of death because we were allowed to keep him at home for three days before cremation. I know that we will be following this pattern for my own death and other friends and family have also stated that this is their wish for the time of death as well. It is very helpful to seek information and plan ahead. Our family has no regrets for changing the typical pattern of dealing with death. Each state may have various legal requirements. It is very helpful to have the family members prepared for the final moments of death and care of the body and home arrangements.. I would be very open to sharing with anyone helpful information about our experience. violalake@mac.com
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State laws vary considerably on this, Funeral lobby is second only to Auto dealers in effectively changing laws in their favor.
I ran into some significant struggles when I needed to ship my destitue dad's corpse 2000 miles. The airfare was $300, Funeral home wanted $2000 to take him 20 miles and bury. The state law would not let me pick him up and take to a 'pioneer' cemetary.
So I got a transit permit and 'we' went on a road trip. I rented the backhoe and the whole burial cost ~ $500, including fuel for 4000 mile RT. (the state did require me to hire a funeral director to accompany us while in the state, and to attend the burial, he was nice and only took $100, as I had driven clear around the state to minimize transit within the state.)
"We" had a great trip, and I'm glad I chose that route, as we'd had a very rough 50 yrs together.
I learned a lot about the the process, and have helped several 'poor' families through this for well under $1000. Cardboard Caskets can be had for under $500. Or Build your own pine box for under $100. The kids might like to help !
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It is great to know that these options are out there and avilable to us. I know that since I was a young girl I decided I want to by cremated and buried beneath a beautiful old tree. I want to be returned from whence I came. To know that I will be a part of that tree is beautiful and peaceful.
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Crossings: caring for our own after death Home-Based after death care and Natural Burial with Beth Knox, www.crossings.net
May 9, 9am-5pm
for more info visit: www.crossings.net or www.generacion.nu
or call 503.750.1415
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I want to go in a vodka infused blaze and as cheaply as possible. Use the funds that would go to an expensive casket, embalming and other services to pay for a big party in my memory at a local nightclub. I want my family and friends to preserve their memories of me associated with a good time and great music. Call it my final stimulus contribution!
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Though it is exciting to realize we currently have the legal right to conduct a home funeral in Oregon, I think it would be a mistake to take this for granted. In 2007, the funeral lobbyist in Utah successfully changed the law and Utah now requires the death certificate be completed by a licsenced funeral director. Currently in Colorado similiar attempts to undermine citizens ability to care for their own dead is underway. The Funeral consumer's alliance of Oregon is very weak and ineffective when it comes to legislative watch and citizen lobbying. The Consumer Industry Advisory Committee of Oregon is currently in the process of submitting regulation change reccommendations to the Oregon Cemetery and Mortuary Board. This process is transparent to the public but only if the public takes the time to read it and show up for public comment and inform their legislators of their wishes. You can access this info on the OCMB website.
I will post a legislative watch page on my website this weekend and try to keep everyone up to date. I would love help reviewing the proposals currently under consideration.
Thanks
Patricia Sweeney
Death Care Educator and Guide
www.spiraloflife.org
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I submitted a comment earlier about preparing my mom's body for burial. Why didn't it get posted?
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I am always shocked at what people pay for a funeral. 5 years ago my father was cremated at Keizer Funeral Chapel for around $700. For that price we received an opportunity to view his unembalmed body which had been washed and dressed, his ashes in a nice carved wooden box, a certain number of death certs and all the paperwork. For now, he still resides in our home, because that is where mom is comfortable having him. We had a service at our place of worship for free, and friends contributed food. A local community center that normally rents for $700 for the day, rented us a room for $100 for 2 hours under their special funeral rate. Just ask around, since not a lot of these facilities advertise they will give a lower rate for the bereaved.
It wasn't "green" but it was economical, dignified and comforting.
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where do i even begin on this one. funeral like they are today, were invented for the capitalist. The modern funeral is against everything i stand for. The way we bury today, leaves spiritual ick in the land, hinders our crossing over to a new life, We cant even give our dead bodies back to the mother earth in the way it should be done.
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Great show! Thank you for a program that has made me think a lot further about these issues than I ever have! I have always felt that our traditions are inadequate.
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Thanks! I appreciated this show.
I have a both a deep appreciation of remembering family roots and a love of nature. For me, seeing the markers in local cemeteries infuses regional names with more history and a greater sense of place. As a biologist, I have an awareness and concern for the interconnectedness earth systems.
Years ago, as various family members passed, I began to formulate wishes for my remains. My ideas of both "encouraging a tree" and having some sort of commemorative plaque drew strange (yet caring) looks from family and close friends. To me, however, it is very meaningful - connection with nature and with human generations past and future.
I am thankful that options for sustainable burial and rememberance are being publically discussed.
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Comments are now closed.
Several have told me they don't prepare their wills because they don't want to confront the D-word. Yet Death is the final period to life's sentence and is unavoidable. My family implemented a "torch and toss" policy of cremation and dispersing the ashes as requested. We sought to enjoy each other while we were alive and looked upon expensive funerals as resource wasteful.