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Now are we saying the economy has absolutely no affect on domestic violence? Not exactly, when you consider the victims. Mid-Valley Women’s Crisis Service hasn’t had a sudden increase in the number of women and families in shelter since the economic crisis, but the average length of shelter stay has increased. Jobs, financial assistance, housing, and many other resources necessary for safety and self-sufficiency are scarce these days. Once they are in shelter, women are staying longer than usual and if they haven’t had a safe opportunity to leave yet, you can guarantee their abuser is saying things like “go ahead and leave, but how are you going to get a job, pay your bills, and find a place to live?”. These kinds of comments are affective tools added to their many other threats, manipulations, and dangers that leave no other choice but for women to stay.

By no means are we down playing the increase in domestic violence homicides recently. These are horrible, devastating crimes that deserve the attention to raise awareness of a historic and ongoing issue affecting 1 in 4 women in their lifetime. Even more devastating is the fact that these crimes are preventable. Domestic violence could end this very second, if abusers decided to make a different choice. They are completely capable of doing so, yet the vast majority do not since it gets them what they want (power and control) and their excuses still work. In the meantime, our communities can send a powerful message that survivors will be supported, abusers held accountable, and victims remembered.

posted 3 years, 2 months ago
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Contrary to recent headlines, new stories, interviews, and conversations, domestic violence is not caused by or heightened during times of economic hardship. Domestic violence is a choice and though many factors may influence it, they most certainly do not cause it.

So why all the hype? With 14 women and children murdered at the hands of an abuser recently, we all want the easy answer to make us feel better and disconnect ourselves from the harsh reality of domestic violence. Surely with a bad economy being the most obvious problem coinciding with these murders, this should be the cause. But how can that explain an abuser who had been abusing his wife for decades prior to our economic downfall? How does that explain an abuser who continues abusing after he’s found a job and their bills are paid? How can that explain domestic violence shelter programs in existence for 35 plus years? How does it explain the millions of other people in the same economy who choose not to abuse?

The answer is simple. Abusers look for an excuse that people will believe (currently the economy), and when people stop believing or become suspicious, they change their story (the previous popular excuse with abusers was Methamphetamines). Some of the most common excuses are a bad childhood, drugs and alcohol, stress, a bad temper or short fuse, rage, and mental illness. Whatever you as an individual, agency, family member, or friend will believe, that’s the excuse the abuser will tell you or try to portray as the cause of their behavior. In fact it’s very common for an abuser to have multiple excuses. He’ll tell his wife the cause is stress, his family that it’s his bad temper, his probation officer that it’s alcohol, and the judge that it’s because he witnessed abuse in his childhood. It’s always something other than their choice to be violent. Many difficult experiences can affect anyone, but they do not cause the choices we make nor make us abusers, and frankly with an abuser, you never know what to believe anyway since they are experts in the art of lying.

posted 3 years, 2 months ago
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