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Emmama's comments:

on 72 Far Superior Topics

*the latest in potty training*

This one is actually pretty cool. It's sometimes called Elimination Communication, Natural Infant Hygiene, or just Diaper-Free, and it's about helping your baby to go 'to the toilet' somewhere other than a diaper, some of the time, then more of the time as they grow!
It's about learning to observe baby's bodily rhythms, body language and practicing responding in such a way that your connection is enhanced, benefiting your whole relationship. It's about sometimes anticipating the needs of a pre-verbal human being and experiencing their joy that you understand them. It's about using diapers as a tool rather than a necessity.
It is not toilet training, it is not 'coercive' in any way, rather it's gentle and responsive.

With Elimination Communication (EC) we help the baby stay clean and dry until they gain independence in their own time, at their own pace - gradually. It's just a way of addressing a baby's hygiene needs over full time use of diapers and changing dirty diapers for years. A parenting option.

Local resources include...
Eugene's DiaperFree baby YahooGroup: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/dfbeugene

Portland (and Vancouver, WA) DFB YahooGroup: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/dfbportland

Wonderful books:

Diaper-Free! by ingrid Bauer
Throughout most of human existence, parents have cared for their babies hygienically without diapers. In many cutures around the world, mothers still know how to tune in to their infants to keep them clean and content. Your baby, too, can enjoy the comfort of this natural approach, whether you use diapers or not. This comprehensive guide with over 40 photos shows you how.

The Diaper Free Baby by Christine Gross-Loh

and an international yahoo group with over 2000 members http://groups.yahoo.com/group/eliminationcommunication/

posted 4 years, 9 months ago
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on August Ideas

How about a show on Unconditional Parenting? It's a book (or dvd) by author Alfie Kohn http://www.alfiekohn.org/index.html who came to Portland last summer and gave a lecture to over 300 parents about how and why to parent without rewards, punishments, threats, or bribes. We are a growing community, our Portland area Unconditional Parenting yahoo group has over 150 members... http://groups.yahoo.com/group/UP-Portland/

There are several preschools in the area who practice this kind of respectful, peaceful communication and conflict-resolution with children, as well as a local class for parents to get information and support - The Connected Parenting Class covers respectful limit setting, developmental norms, listening to feelings, meeting everyone's needs, and many practical ideas about what to do instead of being either an authoritarian or a permissive parent. http://www.zenana-spa.com/classroom/relationship_workshops.php#connected



posted 4 years, 9 months ago
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on Unschool

See SCHOOLS LEFT BEHIND http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/opb/posts/list/1407016.page

More than 430 Oregon schools failed to meet the national targets.



posted 4 years, 9 months ago
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on Unschool

So, are you saying that making kids endure teasing, bullying and ridicule when they are young prepares them for more of that as they grow older? This sounds like a very sad life. Shall we feed kids carcinogens when they are young because the world is full of them and they are going to have the get used to the real (polluted) world? Or perhaps we should be mean to them because there will be mean people in their future? Unschooling, on the other hand, is all about joyful living.

My kids are doing all kinds of things in the real world every day. So are all the other unschooled children I know! Kids need to learn to stand in line? My kids accompany me to the grocery store, the bank, etc. and they stand in line JUST FINE. They interact with people (nice and mean) and hone their relationship skills all over town and with people of every age.

I don't get it - people are saying that unschooling parents are neglecting their children, and also that we are coddling, sheltering, and over-protecting them!



posted 4 years, 9 months ago
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on Unschool

I started on this path because I am a huge child advocate - it's clear to me that public schools are neglecting to educate children properly! Who/what is protecting public school children from being abused? Standardized tests?


posted 4 years, 9 months ago
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on Unschool

Having a child is a choice, as is working outside the home in a career, driving a car, owning a home, etc.

I don't think anyone here has said that every parent should unschool their children, of course there are parents who aren't capable of unschooling or who just don't want to, but those aren't the parents we are talking about.

As far as "necessary educational standards" - well, those are subjective. Sitting at a desk all day and doing boring repetitive work and taking tests is not what's going to help my child meet my own high educational standards for them. I don't need someone else to test my children to know what they are learning - I know exactly what they are learning because I spend time with them and talk to them - how could someone else (more qualified?) have more knowledge about my own children than I do?




posted 4 years, 9 months ago
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on Unschool

Why all this focus on learning, what about other important life skills? Like FUN - how much fun are kids having? How much joy is being experienced on a daily basis by parents and kids? Kids are no longer enjoying their childhoods because everyone is so focused on them being "successful" (which usually means rich) when they are adults, and we are forgetting that in order to learn kids need time to play and be free. How about peaceful conflict resolution skills? How about attention to the "social" part of school that is supposed to be so important for kids? Most teachers are clueless when it comes to helping kids navigate their friendships or social difficulties. Kids are bullied and teased and threatened and ridiculed at school everyday, and NOTHING is done. Why is this OK? I visited the Portland Public Schools fair last January and most of the principals acted like I was speaking a completely different language when I asked about the social-emotional components of their curriculum - I spent several hours talking to principals and teachers about creative learning, positive and respectful interactions, discipline, conflict-resolution, etc. I bet they were glad when I left! :)

I came home with my idea of the "acceptable" schools in PPS, from a respectful parenting perspective - these are the only schools that had anything interesting to say about learning and/or social-emotional development - and I was actually more impressed with some of them that I thought I would be. :)

Portland Village School http://www.portlandvillageschool.org/

Sunnyside Environmental School http://environmentalschool.org/

Creative Science School http://creativescienceschool.org/

The Opal School http://www.portlandcm.org/opal.htm

The Emerson School http://emersonschool.org/

Metropolitan Learning Center http://www.mlc-k12.com/

Trillium Charter School http://www.trilliumcharterschool.org/

School CAN be wonderful, and SHOULD be a choice - make schools non-compulsory - if they are really great than parents and kids will choose to be there. Why are kids eager for weekends and holiday breaks? Unschooled kids NEVER stop learning and never need a break. Why do parents of school-kids dread summer vacation? Is being with your own children that you chose to bring into the world so bad?

For us, unschooling is an extension of respectful parenting - which in our family means that our children have limits and yet no punishments or rewards.

Here are some wonderful parenting resources for folks who are interested in a different way to raise children (schooled or not):

http://www.connectionparenting.com/parenting_articles/index.html (scroll down to parenting articles)

http://www.handinhandparenting.org/articles.html

http://www.naturalchild.org/home/

http://www.empathic-discipline.com

http://www.alfiekohn.org/parenting/ptarticles.htm

http://www.naomialdort.com/

http://www.awareparenting.com/


posted 4 years, 9 months ago
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on Unschool

You can join our local yahoo group, we have over 150 families on it who discuss unschooling and meet regularly for fun and learning.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/pdx-unschoolers/

posted 4 years, 9 months ago
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on Unschool

I'm not understanding how frequent testing protects children. It is the parent's responsibility to educate their child properly. What I see in my unschooling/parenting community are families that are very involved in their child's education and upbringing, and they don't need state officials to verify that.

posted 4 years, 9 months ago
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on Unschool

I was a single mother for years and was dedicated to raising my own child - so I did anything and everything I could to work from home, work short hours, trade childcare with like-minded parents, start my own business, etc. I would never have been able to pay for French lessons, but if my child had expressed an interest in learning French I would have found a way - that might have meant connecting with people in my community who spoke French and needed childcare (a trade) or getting tons of books and CDs and videos from the library and learning it together, or asking about a scholarship or low-income rate for the local french classes at the community center. Unschoolers are resourceful!

I'm wondering how low-income or single parents afford to send their kids to college?

posted 4 years, 9 months ago
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on Unschool

What about the people who have gone to public school and turn out this way? Who should intervene? Who is responsible?

YES, we must consider what is happening to the schooled children as they grow up.

If you read JUST the comments on this forum you will see example after example of unschooled children who have grown up to be responsible successful adults.

posted 4 years, 9 months ago
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on Unschool

The unschooled or homeschooled students who end up going to school are not a proper statistical example.

posted 4 years, 9 months ago
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on Unschool

I pay taxes for a supposedly wonderful school district that none of my four children attend - they don't attend that school because there are NOT highly educated and trained teachers there, and there is not what I consider education happening there.

posted 4 years, 9 months ago
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on Unschool

Unschooled children are exposed to FAR MORE than the average schooled child. They have all day every day to be learning (365 days a year) and they have parents and friends and community members available to teach them, expose them to interesting things, and to help them find resources and opportunities for learning. They don't have to waste time waiting in line and sitting at a desk for 6 hours a day, they are LIVING instead.

posted 4 years, 9 months ago
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on Unschool

I would bet the majority of the students you teach in these facilities have gone to public school. Neglecting children, abusing children, or kooky religious shielding has nothing to do with unschooling. True unschooling is about respectful, connected parenting and is VERY involved and aware and loving. Unschooled children are cherished and trusted and are very independent and well-adjusted. They are exposed to the real world every day - they have relationships with all kinds and ages of people.

posted 4 years, 9 months ago
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