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One way that we engage boys in BAM! is to tell stories like the one posted above.  The stories model for boys the kind of sharing that can take place in the group, they highlight and prompt for discussion the many challenges that boys face and they give boys insight into their personal experiences. 

posted 2 years, 8 months ago
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Stephen Grant, co-author of BAM!  Here is an example of BAM! Storytelling.

I went to junior high in the mid-eighties in Brooklyn. In the seventh grade I had one shirt that I loved, a pink polo shirt that I wore with the collar turned up. This shirt became the excuse for a group of boys to pick a fight with me. Anthony Grazzle started it. He was the smallest guy in his group and felt he needed to “prove himself.” He walked up to me in gym class and called me gay for wearing the pink shirt.  I stood up and got in his face. Then he hit me and I hit him back. Before I knew it, a group of his friends were holding me while Anthony punched and kicked me. I got away, but everyone knew that an unresolved fight would be settled “after school.” In fact, Anthony said those very words to me as we were separating. A crowd gathered after school.  I was terrified and thought seriously about going home, but I was more afraid of what might happen if I did not show up. I worried that people would think I was chicken, that kids would pick on me even more. Feeling like I had no choice, I went to face Anthony hoping that any one of my friends would tell me that they would still respect me if I did not go. I did not receive this support. From this experience, I learned about being teased. I learned about how boys sometimes feel as though they have to stick up for themselves, being pushed to fight even when they don’t want to. It is not always easy to be a boy. It feels sometimes like you have to do things that you don’t want to do in order for people to like and respect you. I am not saying that I think that boys should fight in order to be accepted by their friends. I don’t want you to fight at all. What I want is for you to know is that I understand how scary it can be to choose not to fight, how the fear of losing friends or getting picked on even more is real. My hope is that you will see that there are guys, like the friends you have in this group, who will support you in staying out of fights and who will not tease you for being different.

posted 2 years, 8 months ago
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