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Thank you for this. You, I take it, are one of the "daughters" who contributed support. She must have loved you very much to leave that letter. It's obvious she didn't take the support for granted.

posted 2 years, 4 months ago
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Denise, would your parents be willing to allow a third party to mediate this dilemma? A mediator could help both sides express their concerns and help all of you make a plan. Portland has quite a few mediators. I think you can probably find them in the phone book or online. Good luck.

posted 2 years, 4 months ago
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Two years ago when my mother turned 93, she decided to leave her home in Iowa and move out here to be close to me, her only surviving child (of four). Even though it was her decision to move to Oregon and into an assisted living facility, leaving her home forever was of course extremely hard. She and I had never been close, and the transition proved to be a huge emotional and psychological challenge for both of us. But we worked hard at resolving our differences because we had to, and our relationship has transformed. We are now experiencing a fulfillment of the mother/daughter bond we've always wanted and never could have had if she'd stayed in Iowa. If she had not couragously chosen to change her life at age 93, both of us would have lived out our remaining years with smoldering resentments toward one another.

I admire my mother for her willingness to change her life at such an advanced age and, in the process, changing mine.

posted 2 years, 4 months ago
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