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There are really two separate points in your post. I can't comment on how women in the industry might feel about changing the industry to target women--that's a big ball of string.

But, for someone who is a sex industry researcher and sexuality counslor and educator I find your comment about the under representation of  women involved with men who patronize the sex industry…well..peculiar.  

 

That has little to do, directly anyway, with the sex industry itself, or women who work in the sex industry. If a man (or womans) activities are causing relationship difficulties (whether those activites are sex related, or not), that falls into the big arena of “communication within that relationship”.

 

For example, an escort does not  “cause” a man to jeopardize his personal realtionships by seeking her services. Last time I checked, men still had free will. And it’s a little too convenient to say “my husband is seeing escorts, ergo he is a sex addict”.  (which you did not say---but is a prevelant position)

 

And I’m certainly not suggesting it is their wife/GF’s fault. If that is happening, there is obviously a communcation gap within that relationship. So, instead of advocating representation of women involved with men involved with sex workers, it would seem more appropriate to focus on couples who could benefit from improving their interpersonal communcation skills. And, there is no shortage of couples therapists out there.

posted 3 years, 1 month ago
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To rank the "the horrors of prostitution" stereotype over a positive image of the contemporary sexworker (and I mean a realistic one, not the "Happy Hooker/Pretty Woman" stereotype) does both sides a disservice.  

 

Sex workers live in the shadow of the image of streetwalkers; which continues to put their lives at risk due to the persistent attitude that a whore is a whore is a whore. And, every hr spent by law enforcement wasting time trying bust a willing sex worker for a victimless crime, is an hr not spent dealing with the real problems of exploited/abused women.

 

One way to start shifting this vicious cycle is to give more voice to the positive. Without visibility on the positive, there is no way for people to begin to recognize the difference between a streetwalker, and a contemporary sex worker who has willingly chosen her profession.

 

Having grown up under the negative stereotype of being ‘gay’ I well know that without the voices of those willing to put themselves on the line, under risk of real personal violence, I would not be living in a world in which being ‘gay’ is OK.  And, there is no coincidence between the increasing positive images of gays and lesbians in popular culture, and increasing cultural tolerance and legal protection.

 

Visibility on, and accurate perception of the positive is one key to clearly separating out the negative in the perception of the masses. This helps us understand where to focus our efforts to affect positive change where it is most needed.

 

So perhaps--and  recognizing a certain irony here-- active, vocal support of the “happy hookers” could go a long way towards improving lives of the not so happy ones.

posted 3 years, 1 month ago
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I’m bummed I was unable to join and add my comments earlier. But, here’s a few thoughts from a happy, not the least bit ashamed, stable, well educated, non-addicted, emotionally healthy, professional woman who regularly pays for the NSA companionship of an escort:

 

Yes, there are many sad stories of drug addiction, trafficking, exploitation, violence, abuse, or worse. And this is the image that pervades the collective consciousness of the vast majority when they think of “prostitution”.

 

But, what those people do not know is there is also a world out there of which they are unaware. This one is a world filled with thoughtful, intelligent, empowered, sex positive, business savvy women and their equally delightful and delighted customers.

 

There is an organized support system that provides advice, safety checks, education, and camaraderie. And here lives a healthy, positive and playful attitude towards adult, consensual sexuality. At the end of the day, business is business and providing a professional service is just that. And, in this case, what a unique and lovely service it is. If done well, and with genuine grace and sophistication it is one that will earn loyal and happy repeat customers. And can, for the woman (or man) providing this service, create a satisfying, rewarding, fulfilling professional life.

 

I am saddened that there is a dark side to this coin. But, I am also thrilled to participate in the light side. I can only hope that higher visibility on the positive aspect of sex work(er) will help shift attitudes and begin to differentiate between the exploited, and the empowered.

 

Where I’m coming from, I assure you, there is no need to expend law enforcement time or tax dollars to “save” me, or my paid companions from the “crime of prostitution”

posted 3 years, 1 month ago
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