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As a 38-year old woman I still am faced with the demand to be nice, agreeable and accomodating quite often. The workplace is where this usually occurs. I am known for being outspoken, a "straightshooter" or "blunt". I don't believe in tiptoeing around a legitimate work issue just because someone may get upset. I worked at a bar for several years and for some time was the only female bartender. I made a suggestion regarding the use of a particular product instead of another and on another occasion was giving a new employee some tips about our system of running things on the night shift. Both times one of the owners, a woman, felt that I was disrespecting her and being "bossy". I eventually had to quit the job because of this person and her treatment of me (she stood 2 inches from my face and yelled at me in front of customers who were waiting to be served, and she was unwilling to allow me to explain to her that I was just trying to get a new employee oriented with the "flow" of the work). The men who work there are permitted to make any suggestions they desire, even voice complaints, and they are listened to and treated legitimately. I know the bar and restaurant industry is notorious for having crazy owners, but I have seen this gender disparity my whole working life in treatment of employees and the credibility that they are given. I have not heard of one of my male coworkers being called "disresectful" for merely suggesting that a certain product be used at work. The standard for is much higher for women. When a man has an idea he is considered intelligent or forward-thinking, we are often considered a bitch. It's like, if you're female, don't speak up.

posted 3 years, 9 months ago
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My mother is a hoarder with other OCD traits as well. The hoarding is on a lesser scale than some I have heard about , perhaps because my younger brother (who is in his thirties) still lives at home. I believe the hoarding began in response to my parents' divorce in 1980, which made my mom the sole caregiver and breadwinner for herself and four kids.

Food is the major item for my mom: she will purchase maybe 6-8 of the same thing, especially if it is on sale. She regularly has enough food on hand to feed about 15 people. Just getting something out of the fridge is frustrating, it's so packed. I think she has a fear of going hungry, although she makes good money and has no one to support but herself.

She has kept clothing from the 70' and 80's (the time my siblings and I were growing up). All the closets are brimming. She also keeps papers of all kinds: magazines, recipes cut out from the newspaper, junk mail, brochures from places she visits (like tourist or information brochures), scraps of paper with driving directions, health information. She carries a bag filled with these things when we stay at a hotel on vacation. There is a near continual arranging and rearranging of piles of paper that goes on, like to be idle is impossible for her. She has been talking about moving closer to work (she commutes an hour one way and is now in her sixties) for many years, but it is always a matter of "getting the house ready". She takes "baby steps" sometimes and will bring a garbage bag or two of clothes to my house for me to go through and take to Goodwill.

I fear the sale of her house and the move will never happen. She doesn't feel that anything is wrong, and my sisters, brother and I have had many fights with her over it. It worries me as her oldest daughter and the child (besides my brother, who has his own issues) who lives closest to her.  I personally want to clear my home of any superfluous clutter I can, and have thrown out important papers at times because of it (like my 2008 W-2's)!

posted 3 years, 10 months ago
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