2012 conventions 2012 election 2013 session 2013 special election arts arts and culture author ballot measures bomb books budget bullying business charlie hales children clackamas climate change coal courts crime culture culture club democrats drugs economy education environment family film fluoride food gay rights guns handguns health health care health insurance high school history housing immigration international internet kitzhaber law legislature lgbt literary arts living marijuana medicine mental health military minor parties mohamed mohamud movies music native americans news newspaper obama olympics oregon our town parenting pers photography police politcs politics port portland portland business journal portland mayor president prevention public safety religion republicans rnc romney rural salem sam adams sandy hook schools science shooting sports suicide supreme court taxes television terrorism theater third parties timber payments transportation union university of oregon violence washington water wildfire women

I am a straight woman.  I was unable to have children and my first marriage ended largely as a result.  I would love to marry again and am currently in a committed, loving relationship with a man.  Fortunately, my boyfriend doesn't want children.  Unfortunately, he too was once married and doesn't want to marry again because "marriage is old-fashioned and out of date - a lot of people are choosing not to marry, even when they have children together".  I still want to get married.  I believe in marriage as a public declaration and celebration of love between adults.  My boyfriend is considering a civil union... I mention all of this because a good male friend of mine just married the love of his life: another man.  They are hoping to adopt at least 2 children.  I think they will be exceptional and very loving parents.  

I heard Maggie mention on the program that the purpose of marriage is for a man and woman who love each other to create children.  By that rationale, I should never have married to begin with and should never hope to marry again.  I can't have children.  But I feel that my life as a woman still holds value even though I can't create new people.  I think I could still be a wonderful, loving wife with a purpose in this world without making children.  I'm so sad that her experience as a single mother didn't help her to better understand that marriage is about so much more than making children.  I'm sorry that she didn't have a man to help her raise her child, but I'm more sorry that she can't see that a family is created by loving people - be they two men or two women. 

posted 2 years, 5 months ago
view in context