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For me, the decision to have an abortion came fairly easy. I didn't give it a lot of thought and no one helped me to. My biggest concern was not embarrasing my parents. I was only 16 years old at the time. I went to a free clinic and was told I could get an abortion without my parents knowing about it. It's ironic that a few months before, I tried to get birth control pills at the same place but was told I would have to have my parent's permission. Although I was young, I realized that I could die having an abortion and I wouldn't lie. I told my mom and she asked me what I wanted to do. My reply was, "Have an abortion." I had the abortion 2 days later.

For years I never thought about it again. It wasn't until 7 years later when I was married and expecting my first child. Then it hit me what I had done. Now I was being shown what the baby looked like inside of me and I could hear his heartbeat. Although the lady at the free clinic told me it was just a "blob of tissue" I now knew otherwise. I was 13 weeks pregnant when I had my abortion.

Now it has been 35 years, and I still think about what my life would be like to have that child in my life. My children are such a joy to me as are my grandchildren. I get sad from time to time. I always remember how old he would have been. It doesn't go away.

There are two things I want to convey. First of all, knowing what I know now, if I had it to do all over again, I wouldn't do it. My life would have been different but not horrible. I regret my hasty decision.

Secondly, I felt betrayed for not getting all the information to make an "informed" choice. No one talked to me about fetal development or other options. It was as if abortion was the only choice to make. I don't know if it would have changed my mind but I should have been given the information.

Please be nice to those who share on the show. They are basically "coming out of the closet" and that takes a lot of courage. Talking about it really helps with the healing.

posted 4 years, 8 months ago
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