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@katied - We find that the circumstances of our conception are only a minor pain, compared to NOT knowing.  I was not guilty of raping my mother, so I don't feel badly about it.

In my own case, both biological parents did not handle my reappearance after over 50 years well.  That speaks volumes about how society shamed them for their actions in the distant past.  It is small consolation that my birthmother is described by her other son as "a bitter old woman who drinks too much." Hmmm- could it be a lifetime of remorse?

You seem to be preoccupied with pain for the adopted family, or the birth family.  Try living a life inconstant fear of offending anyone, of being the consummate people-pleaser.  That's the life of an adoptee who was taken from the only world he had ever known and placed in an orphanage, then taken from that world to a family he did not know.

Of course we adopted people grow to love our adoptive families; ever heard of Stockholm Syndrome? 

Mr Simon is in denial of the reality.  China is a corrupt society where children are commonly taken from birth parents by local officials and sold to agencies, who then claim the child was found on a doorstep with no documentation; meanwhile the birth parents are searching desperately to find out what happened to their kidnapped child.

As long as there are parents willing to pay large sums for children, the abuses will continue.  Mr Simon would no doubt condemn his listeners for buying "blood diamonds" from Africa, yet when it comes to fulfilling his own needs to parent, has no problem buying an undocumented child.

There is only one way to ethically adopt internationally, and that is to demand complete documentation, meet and confirm the birth parents' willingness to surrender their child to strangers, and maintain contact with those who carry the child's biological heritage.

Otherwise go to the animal shelter and adopt a dog.

posted 2 years, 7 months ago
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