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j817's comments:
on The Ethics of Egg Donation
Please see my comment to ESJ, a few comments above.... I am a hardcore environmentalist and I totally hear your concerns. I felt the same before I was in this situation, but now I am about to be a donor recipient. Adoption is far from an easy solution, and I think your concerns about population are misdirected...... The need to have a child is biologically based and it is profound, the pain we go through with infertility is beyond anything I could have imagined before embarking on this journey. I do a lot to 'save the world', my lifestyle choices, 7 stray cats, and I'm a special ed teacher.... we are all good people in our own way. I don't think it is the responsibility of infertile couples to save the world's children, though believe me if adoption was less beaurocratic and less expensive more of us might make that choice. Don't judge until you've been there -
posted 2 years, 11 months ago
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on The Ethics of Egg Donation
I am a total environmentalist (off the grid, compost, raise my own chickens and a serious gardener) and before I was diagnosed with infertility I felt the same as you do. But I feel I will be bringing a most wanted child into the world, at a time when I am most ready to be a good parent (I'm 38). And I feel I have the right to a child, a healthy child, who will be raised to be a good person in the way I define that. Not adopted after being damaged by a system that supports inadequate parents and does not take care of it's orphans. I have done foster care, I am a special ed. teacher, I know my limitations and that I cannot take that home... but adopting a normal healthy infant is much more difficult than you think, and more expensive than egg donation. I believe your concerns should be directed at systems and governments who do not support individuals in making responsible reproductive choices.... it's not the few thousand egg donor recipients who are impacting world population!!! -j817
posted 2 years, 11 months ago
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on The Ethics of Egg Donation
As well as saving money, I think you gave a wonderful gift and you must be a woman who with a generous spirit to have made that choice. Do remember though, that you are the genetic mother, not the biological, and there is a difference. I hope that you have peace and know that if a child resulted from your generosity, he or she is certainly most loved and valued.
posted 2 years, 11 months ago
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on The Ethics of Egg Donation
My husband and I have been struggling with infertility for years. We've looked into adoption and decided the odds of having a healthy baby are better using donor eggs and sperm. The focus on 'designer babies' and donor compensation overlooks the more common issue... that desperate couples turn to donors a last resort. I do not feel donor compensation is unreasonable - giving yourself shots and the medication side effects are no fun, and the donor pool couples have to choose from is increased because there is compensation. There may be couples whose focus is on having a 'perfect' child. After all we with infertility have been through, after how many dreams we have been forced to set aside, I don't blame them for wanting to create a new dream. The majority of us however, just want a baby, a family, we're not looking for a little genius with perfect looks. I am grateful to donors for their role in creating families, and that I live in a day and age where these options are possible.
posted 2 years, 11 months ago
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