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Feb. 7th will be the fourth anniversary of my best friend and life partner's suicide.  I continue to grieve I guess.  I moved 3000 miles away here to PDX and still can't muster up much joy in my life-don't date (can't bear the thought of it actually), don't go out, don't really want to get close to anybody...bascially I'm still drifting.   I still miss him like crazy and sometimes still turn quickly around to show his something and have to again realize he's not there.  I still thank God that he did call me to say goodbye although that conversation has been torturous for me in many ways.  To this day I still don't know why--another reason it's been so difficult to move on.  I miss him and I miss the person I was.  Both therapy and meds haven't dulled the pain.  I'm hoping time will do that eventually.  I do so hope.     

posted 4 years, 3 months ago
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