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lilylulu's comments:

on The Meaning of Marriage

I identify myself as bisexual and have dated and loved both amazing women and men. When I was 25 I got pregnant with my boyfriend of over a year and a half and we decided to have our son but not get married. When our son was 16 months old we did get married because we felt the pressure from society that our relationship was working fine why not just sign the papers for our son's sake? Our marriage lasted less than two years and I very strongly feel that it is because we were pressured to do it because why wouldn't two "heterosexual" people just get married when it is so easy. I am now with a wonderful man who is helping me raise my son, he has also been married before, and we both see no benefits to our relationship to getting married, but we still get a lot of pressure from our families and society. If he were a woman that was my partner currently I would not only not have the option, but also not the pressure to marry, especially since my son is from another relationship.  Having been a couple raising a child and a married person raising a child I only see the difference in the taxes, partner rights, and separation of property.

I can find no reason to marry on behalf of giving a child an "official" parent when the child just wants love from everyone. I feel the more people who love a child the better that child will be and that is not a result of marriage. Marriage serves to provides a safety net to the two individuals raising the children in case of an accident, death, financial devastation and other unforeseen life issues. I believe that if two men or two women want to devote themselves to each other and provide that net to themselves and their children that they should be able to.

I also think that if there were more education, outside of religious, about the realities of marriage for any couple seeking it, that it would eliminate a lot of divorce. Marriage is not all about the party and the dress. Going through my divorce has been a year and a half long process, getting my marriage certificate took 2 hours.

posted 2 years, 4 months ago
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