2012 conventions 2012 election 2013 session 2013 special election arts arts and culture author ballot measures bomb books budget bullying business charlie hales children clackamas climate change coal courts crime culture culture club democrats drugs economy education environment family film fluoride food gay rights guns handguns health health care health insurance high school history housing immigration international internet kitzhaber law legislature lgbt literary arts living marijuana medicine mental health military minor parties mohamed mohamud movies music native americans news newspaper obama olympics oregon our town parenting pers photography police politcs politics port portland portland business journal portland mayor president prevention public safety religion republicans rnc romney rural salem sam adams sandy hook schools science shooting sports suicide supreme court taxes television terrorism theater third parties timber payments transportation union university of oregon violence washington water wildfire women

Let me be the first to say that no one should any longer be permitted to allude to their moral superiority by calling themselves "pro-life". Admit what you truly are. You are "ANTI-CHOICE". You're not leading a valorous crusade; you are championing a conscious denial of women's human rights. Don't think that a little linguistic spin can alter the vicious, hateful, dangerous line you are toeing. Women have practiced abortion and infanticide since the beginning of time for MANY different reasons. I'll not champion the latter, since we're all playing at civility, but I will NEVER respect/consider/obey the opinion/law of anyone who would treat me as less than an autonomous being with certain INHERENT RIGHTS.

I, personally, have had 2 abortions. I am the first multiple offender to post here. The first time, I was as naive as every woman is the first time she finds out she's pregnant. The same day that I found out, I lost my job, my boyfriend broke up with me, told me that he was married but separated, that he and his wife were getting back together, and that she was coming into town to look at apartments with him. He already had a child and was neglectful and abusive toward her. He was unemployed and broke. I was barely feeding myself and living with a chronic illness. I gave the protesters the finger on my way into the clinic.
In the aftermath, I became extremely depressed. I was regretful. The Planned Parenthood in my area didn't offer any post-abortion counseling, other local clinics said they only offer it for their own patients, and I couldn't afford private care. Gradually, I achieved a sort of fragile recovery. I bought my "daughter" a 1st birthday card, when the time came and sent her father a reminder. Surprisingly, it was my 2nd abortion that helped me find a more lasting peace. I took myself on a vacation abroad, booking my stay at a huge hostel known for its party atmosphere. I know, I know, this is where I start to sound like a huge slut or something. Short version, I spent my time with a man 4 years my junior but otherwise identical to me in every meaningful way. A few weeks later, I was home and feeling sick. I told him as soon as I could reach him. For a strident feminist, I have always done at least that much, tell the truth and ask for the male's opinion. He was a good boy. He told me that he would prefer termination since he was only 20 years old and living on the other side of the world but that he would support my decision. I walked around for a week thinking I would choose otherwise, then I changed my mind. He even sent me money. That's fairly incredible, judging by the stories I've encountered over the years. This experience was so much more pleasant. I wasn't pressured or rushed. I was supported. Having the time to think, having a supportive and patient partner, helped me to feel secure in my decision, and that helped me to feel sure that I had chosen correctly two years before when I wasn't given a chance to so much as think about it.
I could have a 6yo and 3yo right now. I would be an impoverished, welfare mom subsisting on the tax dollars of the "anti-choicers" who constantly lobby to reduce funding for low-income families, subsidized health care, food stamps, emergency housing, etc. I might be happy, and I might not. I wouldn't be where I am now. I wouldn't have the options I do now, and that is what is most important to me. That is not selfish. It is my RIGHT to do what is best for me. It is my RIGHT to look out for my own best interests.
I feel no shame. I DO have a 6yo and 3yo right now. I love them no less because they are not here with me. In caring for other people's children, I do sometimes find myself thinking, "My child would have been exactly this age right now." I speak to them. They are always with me.

I'm not in a relationship now, so you can't get too huffy about my saying that I still don't use birth control religiously. My illness makes hormonal birth control a non-option. I am opposed to iuds for reasons of comfort and the danger of complications when I STILL don't have any health insurance. Prophylactics? Good idea I guess, but it's MY CHOICE. NO BEDROOM POLICE, PLEASE!!!
I believe in vasectomies. Women aren't selfish when we choose not to toy with our body chemistry by ingesting petroleum based pharmaceuticals, not to insert toxic materials INTO our vaginas, not to undergo invasive abdominal surgery. Men are selfish when they think that their perception of their "manhood" is more important than not passing on stds or contributing to unplanned pregnancies which are INHERENTLY MUCH MORE TRAUMATIC FOR THE FEMALE PARTS OF THE EQUATIONS. How many men go to Planned Parenthood every 6 months or even every year for a std/AIDS test? How many say, "Well, my x got tested, so I know I don't have anything?" How many women are infected with cancer causing strains of HPV every year by male partners? How many of them DIE?

We could all go on and on, and I'm sure that we will. I hope I've contributed something useful to the conversation. I won't be back on here, I'm sure, but I'll be listening tomorrow morning. Thanks for the great work, and I would like to laud the objectivity of public broadcasting nationwide. I might hate some of the opinions broadcast, but I do agree with all viewpoints having the right to be heard.

posted 4 years, 9 months ago
view in context