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I agree with all the above comments and to Lena who only heard the second half of the program. Notably, Mr. Simon also only heard a portion of the show prior to going on air. I was the person (adoptee) who called into the show. I told a portion of my story-which is very long. And, "it" happend after too much champagne while on a cruise to Europe in 1962.
I called when the show intro spoke of the high numbers of 1960's female babies. I wasn't sure where the show was going..open/closed, national adoptions/international, healthy relationships/disfunctional etc.. Trauma had not come on to the show yet, but I guess I danced around it when I spoke of my need to know based on health and medical issues and genetics (likes/dislikes, looks, being more artistic, more active and curious than my birthfamily)
I beg to differ that my birthmom(BM) was not traumatized by the whole experience. She does not want to meet me and wants no further contact from me. This is after she had contact with my case worker who read a letter or two from me. She found out that I was safe and a happy, healthy, contributing member of society. I think that may have helped soothe some pain.
Mr Simons comments sends shivers down my spine stating that "adoption is an experience, get over it"!! OMG. It does define me as much as being a 47 yr old married caucasion woman and mother of 3 children does! As well as many other ways to numerous to list. I feel that this poor woman(BM) has shouldered this "secret" by herself for her lifetime! I did mention on the show that I cannot believe keeping such a secret, ever, much less from a spouse, other children (she has 3) etc... and the trauma of someone finding out!
For myself, it is something I will never "get over". As a child I enjoyed imagining her, her life, looks, family. My adoptive family has an incredibly long and healthy age span. I enjoy and sometimes" forget" it is not really "my" genes. And, lest we forget, the birthfather! I know nothing and BM will not forward any info regarding him. Does he know? How can that be an "experience" if he never knew, I don't know and BM won't tell? Sounds like a little trauma for everyone. Adoption is not something to "get over" but an ongoing, open life event.
posted 2 years, 8 months ago
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