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When my son was 3, I checked out "The Right Touch," out of the library. Both my husband and I had a funny feeling about a neighbor (based on absolutely no fats at all, just how he looked at our son). We have talked about sexual abuse (and earthquakes and busy streets, rattle snakes, cougars, etc) all the time. We play games about how to stay safe (you hear a rattlesnake - what do you do?....Mama says STOP, back away slowly - what do you do? The earth is shaking! What do you do? and someone says, "Come see X, or let me tickle you here - don't tell anyone," what do you do?). Information is power. You don't have to go into graphic detail about anything, but information is power and we MUST teach our children how to stay safe, how to say no, how to listen to their guts, and how to use your words, how to run away, and how to fight if it comes right down to it (like when camping and you see a cougar/bear approaching you). 

The book (for parents) "everything you never wanted your kids to know about sex but were afraid they'd ask," is a great book on how to talk to your kids about all things sexual. They should really know the basics by age 4.

posted 2 years, 12 months ago
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I am appalled by the Portland police right now. I am a white, middle class mom, and I'm teaching my 3 year old biracial son to be wary of police precisely for this reason. Police are not someone to trust, they are people that MAY be there for you, but may NOT be there for you also.   We have been tracking Chief Sizemore's progress as police chief and have been EXTREMELY pleased with her work in Portland. When she was interviewed on Talk of the Nation a few months ago in relation to the Gates situation, she made me proud to be living in Portland. She made me feel SAFER to be living in Portland. Police officers who are fighting against Chief Seizmore's oversight misunderstand their role as police officers. And they make me feel LESS safe, by arguing there is some sort of reason to shoot a 12 year old. As a mother, they make me feel a bit terrified. The gentleman that is now saying, "it is dangerous to confront authority," is quite troubling. The whole point of democracy is to confront authority and stand up for your rights. And police officers far too often don't see how frequently they (perhaps inadvertently) assume a situation incorrectly and deny people's rights. 

We feel strongly that the single largest thing that the commissioner and Chief Seizmore can do to improve the police force (and increase the ability to critically think and reflect on one's actions) is to require that each officer has a minimum of a BA degree, and a minimum of 6 months of living on a culture different from one's own (example, a white police cadet would live for 6 months with an African American family in N Portland, a black officer would live for 6 months with a white rural family, etc). 

We need to let Chief Seizmore do her job. SHE makes me feel safer. Her disciplinary action has made me feel safer. The response of the Portland Police make me feel scared. 

posted 3 years, 5 months ago
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Greetings, 

As the white mother of a biracial son, this issue critical to me and my family. As the wife of a black husband, we discuss this issue on a regular basis - with regard to police, education, church, and just walking down the street and meeting our mostly white neighbors. Both my husband and I have been very impressed with Chief Seizer. We listened attentively to her interview on Talk of the Nation, in response to the arrest of Henry Gates, and were again, very impressed with her thoughtfulness and intelligence on this issue. While we are concerned about the obvious profiling that takes place in Portland, I also must add that it's important to put this into a more national context. My husband was pulled over at least once a month for various offenses such as "a dimmed tail light," etc while growing up in the Northeast (NY, CT, etc) and regularly harassed. In our 9 years of living here in Portland, he has been pulled over only once (for expired tags) and was treated very respectfully and not ticketed. He has never felt harassed here by the police, and is far more concerned with the subtle racism demonstrated by well meaning white teachers (he is a teacher). We are both very proud of living in a city where this issue is being actively discussed and addressed, and fell very relieved that much improvement will mostly likely happen before our 3 year old is driving. 

Amy

posted 3 years, 8 months ago
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As I am listening to the show right now, I agree with everything people have said so far. Of course racism exists on oregon Every single one of us is racist. Whether or not we are each, personally racist is NOT the question. The question is: Are we each, individually and personally going to take responsibility for our biases and racism? Are we each wiling to question ourselves and recognize our own biases and do our own personal work around them whatever they may be (race, homophobia, sexism, etc).

However, one very important fact has yet gone unsaid in this conversation. Racism affects WHITE people, too. I am white, and a woman. Racism affects me. Racism has affected me personally in that I was raised in a culture that told me I was somehow more entitled to services,more entitled to an identity as "American," more entitled to a good education, BECAUSE of my white race. Racism has affected me in that it has allowed me to NOT see and NOT hear the reality of people that do not look like me.

And this is NOT about feeling guilty (though this may be a necessary step that many people have to experience to get through the process of racial identity development), but it is about recognizing a painful truth about our culture and ourselves and learning how to become white allies and support each other (learn how to support, truly, people of color and more importantly, learn how to support and educate ourselves as white people regarding the privileges of the color of our skin and how we can each personally change this reality.

This is such a large discussion, and I am very grateful that the country is finally starting to have an honest discussion about these issues. Much thanks to Barack Obama for his incredible and honest speech on this issue.

posted 5 years, 1 month ago
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I absolutely agree.

posted 5 years, 3 months ago
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Yet you do not really understand something deeply until you teach it. If your child heard from YOU that he was having a great learning opportunity, and learned from YOU how he could engage with his peers in this way, he would have had an incredibly enriching experience.

posted 5 years, 3 months ago
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This is just not good teaching. ANY good teacher s able to easily engage with students at a variety of different levels, from a 4th grade reading level to college reading level. It is the diversity of a class that makes it enriching, and a good teacher knows how to harness that diversity and create an atmosphere where excellent teaching and learning can occur. This happens every day throughout Portland Public. There are at least a few teachers in every school who do this well. If you are a teacher, I suggest you seek them out an learn from them.

posted 5 years, 3 months ago
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It sounds like this has less to do with the schools and more to do with your own attitude toward how you choose to interact in the world.

posted 5 years, 3 months ago
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Unfortunately it really is up to the parents... HELLLLOOOOOO PEOPLE!!!!!! Since when have parents abdicated their responsibility to anyone else? The PARENTS are the child's first teacher. OF COURSE it's up to the parents and it SHOULD REMAIN THAT WAY. It's the parent;s responsibility after all.

posted 5 years, 3 months ago
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This conversation is absolutely infuriating.

The TAG program doesn't work precisely BECAUSE it labels kids as "smart" or "not smart," as though intelligence were some sort of concrete thing that one has or does not have. This is contrary to every piece of research in cognitive science that has been done in the past 10 years. Intelligence is a PROCESS of CURIOSITY. It is not something a kid HAS. I'd be willing to bet that the minute a child is "proven" (by inherently classist test scores) that he or she is "smart," that this is the moment the child begins to get bored. Read recent articles and books written about motivation and cognitive science for more information on this.

Even more importantly, TAG programs have been demonstrated to be both classist and racist at their core, and this has been aptly demonstrated in this conversation every time the guest who is a parent speaks. The comment about how No Child is like "giving every kid a cheeseburger and fries, but what about the kids who need more than that?" How infuriatingly CLASSIST. With all due respect, ALL children deserve FAR better than cheeseburgers and fries. EVERY child deserves local, organic, high quality, homemade food (to take the metaphor a bit further). And your child is no more deserving of high quality and challenging education than is any other kid. And if your child is privileged with more genetic intelligence than others, then they can use that opportunity to teach and mentor others because no one truly understand anything until they teach it. (And no I am not a teacher - just a parent of a child who will test into TAG one day, but will certainly not be participating in such an unethical and worthless pursuit). Rethinking Schools has some good information on this.

What's more is that teachers cannot possibly teach to excellence when they are being asked to teach to the tests. They cannot possibly teach for excellence when they are being required to teach up to 160 kids. If one wants to increase excellence for ALL children, reduce class sizes.

Finally, stop using rewards and punishments when working with or parenting kids. They just don't work and do more harm to kids' motivational levels than good.

posted 5 years, 3 months ago
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