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Actually if someone is a sex addict, they are very likely to have one or two additional addictions - like alcohol or tobacco...  and there are lots of cases of sex addicts who have physical disfiguration from constant masturbation (both male and female)... while I don't agree with the overreaching comment made here on this show... I do believe that alcohol & sex addiction can be a deadly combo.

posted 2 years, 6 months ago
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As a parent of a 14 year old and an 11 year old... I am Christian, so follow/teach biblical values... being concerned about this issue for my kids, and being aware of what’s going on in the world and seeing statistics that abstinence does not prevent sex before marriage, the percent of grade school children “sexting” on their phones, etc etc ... my question is: what is sex?  Is it strictly intercourse? If so, we teach that is “bad/wrong”, so kids have anal sex/oral sex and still get diseases, become confused about homosexual behavior, etc. etc…. 

I have made it one of my personal priorities to first learn about what’s going on in the world, learn what my school is teaching – health, sex ed, physiology, sociology, etc.  Then seriously reviewing this “knowledge” and how does it align or not with my families values.  Then having informed and age appropriate conversations regularly about this with my kids.  I do not feel it’s ok to have a one-time; one-size fits all, “sex talk” with my child.

My totally biased opinion is we need more continuous communication between parents and their kids – we need to teach them (over and over, at an age appropriate levels) and listen to them: what are hormones? Why do I feel this way? What are the behaviors of “sex”?  What are the diseases you can catch?  What are the consequences?  How is real life different than what I see in the media?  What are the legal issues? How does this affect me? Etc.

posted 2 years, 6 months ago
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I grew up with bartering as a way of life; it has been a core value in our family… from “trading” your egg salad for my peanut butter at lunch, to trading toys, to trading clothes between friends & relatives…. We were very poor growing up (no house, just lived in the back of our camper) but my mom was a beautician and would trade a perm or haircut for food, clothes, a place to park the rig, etc… my dad was generally handy and would work odd jobs for stuff, gas money, etc…  As I got older I knew how to sew and would use that skill to “barter” for stuff, gas money, even used it to get work-study jobs to pay my way through college.  I have a direct sales business now selling baskets, but I often trade other direct sales consultants – my basket for your kitchen gadget, etc.  I am now teaching my children the value of “bartering” from the very simple trading cards to your Barbie ballet dress for my Barbie cowboy outfit.  I love the barter section on Craigslist and have been very successful in utilizing that, I am excited to try out the other sites listed here today.  I’ve never equated my bartering with any sort of monetary value… it’s just what I need for what you need.  I do not believe it should be taxed or tracked… it is a way of life (I think Emily mentioned it’s been happening for millennia!)… One of the perks of life!

posted 3 years, 2 months ago
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People think the jabs at Smith's hiring illegal aliens as "negative advertising" - but I wonder how many of them have actually looked into it? I grew up out in Pendleton Area, and I worked at Smith Frozen Foods - they do hire illegal aliens (and sometimes there would be a lot of people "out sick" coincidentally on the same day the immigration service reps would be in town)... and the food plants had numerous EPA violations for dumping bad stuff in the nearby streams... it just irks me that he sits in Washington and touts himself as "environmentally friendly" or against "illegal immigrants" - in my opinion he is the epitome of a hypocrite, I've never voted for him, and never will...

posted 3 years, 7 months ago
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We could help the homeowners in foreclosure if every legislator and member of any governmental body that owns more than two homes had to give up, all but the two, to someone who has been foreclosed...

posted 3 years, 8 months ago
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I have only one friendship that I have maintained with another SO. While I run into others in treatment, I do not normally contact them at other times. In my case, I worked hard at developing new friendships in more healthy environments. It is true that people who have not been to prison don't relate as well to what I've been through, but now I am at a place where I am building a new life not looking for understanding from others about my old life.

I agree that SO's come from a much broader range of classes than most other crimes, and you are right that those from more educated pasts tend to do better after release. But I think this is due more to better developed social skills rather than job skills. It is not that higher educated SO's help each other, but more that they know how to find help and make new friends outside of the ex-con world. Building a network of supportive friends has been the most critical aspect of my successful re-entry into society.

posted 3 years, 10 months ago
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The biggest thing is to find a "community" to become a part of, as most of a prisoner's previous community is either gone (after so much time) or not interested (burned bridges). It's important that the new community have several, if not mostly, people who were not involved in criminal behavior. Ex-cons feel ostracized and successful reintegration into society requires getting out of that mode. Being accepted by people who were not incarcerated helps an ex-con feel part of the legitimate world. This helps him or her have the courage to go through repeated rejections by perspective employers (which will happen) without giving up looking for work.


Since some ex-cons have almost no healthy friends left once they get out, it can be very hard to find groups to accept them. This is a very big challenge.

posted 3 years, 10 months ago
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A Therapist (PhD) can decide not to report a client who has admitted a crime if he or she believes that the client is not currently a danger to society. It is a little risky for them to do so, and many will not. However, in my case, my first therapist (before prison) consulted with several colleagues after interviewing me and decided to take the risk. In my case, it paid off. I did not reoffend in the six years I was in treatment before my crime came to light and I dealt with 90% of my issues before the "system" got involved.


In addition, if a person commits a sex crime and goes to an attorney, that attorney can extend his or her protective attorney client privilege over a therapist who can then treat the person who committed the crime. I haven't heard of this happening much, but it is part of our legal system. That does not mean the criminal won't go to prison, it just allows him or her to get some quality help, since most of the states therapists (who sex offenders are required to see after prison) are not really very good.



One thing that I wish could be talked about more is that a man who sees himself heading down the path towards sex offense CAN find help these days. There are many more therapists who specialize in the area, as well as support groups that deal with sexual addictions quite well. There was a time, before my crime, when I wanted help but could not find it.

posted 3 years, 10 months ago
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I couldn't agree more... there is NOT enough effort being put into preventative measures to keep folks out of prison in the first place... as a family member of someone who was incarcerated - even the "short" 4 year sentence was enough to de-rail the persons career - getting "behind" in technology, the amount of money a person released is required to "give back" to the state and the county (more than a home mortgage in a lot of cases), and the white-collar workforce bias against former inmates, has been very difficult financially for the family...

posted 4 years, 2 months ago
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