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Thank you for the information.

I agree with you that there is a double standard. And it I certainly don't have any scientific data to back me up, but it seems like this sort of thing is considered the least serious when it's an older woman/young man. Do we just assume (as a society) that boys are going to enjoy sex and will be eager to engage in it, while girls won't and have to be coerced?

Or that boys are somehow more sexually and emotionally mature.... when we seem to think it's the other way around in all other aspects of child development?

I'm not trying to defend these relationships at all--nor am I saying that the absence of action by authorities meant they were okay--only that it didn't seem in any of those cases that there was a greater reaction because my friends were female.

posted 3 years, 4 months ago
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I'm curious. Is it different in the case of sexual relationships with young woman? Are they not groomed in advance?

Also, is it always the case that a young person is groomed in advance by an older person who engages with sex with them... or is this referring specifically to cases of abuse?

There's no way to spin this as an appropriate relationship (and Adams hasn't even tried), but I've been eighteen, and it seemed like my peer group had its fair amount of sexual experiences, including those with older people without it being a negative thing.

And I have to disagree about the way this would be viewed if the younger person were female. I'm suddenly remembering that I knew at least three girls my age, two in high school and one in college who had relationships with their male teachers. I thought these relationships were inappropriate, but no one in authority seemed to care about them. The college girl ended up marrying her professor.

posted 3 years, 4 months ago
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The press conference that Sam Adams held on Tuesday broke into the coverage of the celebratory parade for Barack Obama. I watched Adams, embarrassed and humiliated, admit to lying to the voters while a tiny box of marching bands and jubilant spectators played in the background. That could not have been a sadder juxtoposition.

I feel sad about the whole situation. I couldn?t help wondering if, while the press conference played out, I was missing the chance to see the marching band from Portland on national television. I couldn?t help reflect back on other Portland scandals?Tonya Harding, the ?Jail Blazers,? Neil Goldschmidt, and wonder if Portland wasn?t getting a reputation for shabby behavior by public figures in the way that Chicago and Detroit are getting ones for political corruption.

Before the election, a friend mentioned this relationship as a reason not to vote for Sam Adams and I was hot in his defense. Good God, I said, if you can?t give personal advice to younger co-workers, how is a young person supposed to learn anything? So, although I don?t know Sam Adams personally, and he certainly doesn?t know me, I do feel betrayed and pettily annoyed.

But, at the same time, I really don?t want Adams to resign. I didn?t vote for him because I thought his love life was pristine. I voted for him because he seemed to be a forward-looking person with an ambition to make Portland better. That hasn?t changed.

What bothers me is not the relationship, but the lie. Sam Adams made a full apology for that lie, and I?m inclined to accept it. Yes, Randy Leonard is right to ask for an investigation. That should happen and hopefully it will support Adams? statements.

This was not a criminal act. It was not malfeasance. It was a mistake.

Let?s move on.

posted 3 years, 4 months ago
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