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I am a mother of three (2 born in the hospital, one born at home) and childbirth educator in Portland, and what stands out for me in this discussion is the need for informed choice and personal responsibility for the choices we make.

When I decided on the birth place for my babies, it was I who made the call (with help and support from my husband). Though influenced by books, community and culture, no one forced me to have my baby in the hospital or at home. I did what I believed was right for me, and take therefore full responsibility for the consequences of my action, for better or worse (including the epidural, vacuum extraction and severe tearing during my first birth). If women don't take this responsibility, i.e. fully commit to and own their choices, it is only natural that they would blame others for unwanted outcomes.

Women need to educate themselves, and they need to have the right to choose where to give birth. They need to ask questions, look around, meet practioners, read and research. They also need to look within, do thorough soul-searching and self-inquiry to find out what is right and true for them, and then they need to embrace the autonomy of their decision, 100%. That's a lot of work, and it's not easy either, but the only lasting way, in my experience, to put an end to accusing other's of failing them.

posted 2 years, 9 months ago
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