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tpohara's comments:
on As We Are: Teen Parents
Tom:
"Threadkiller!"
You expected something else? :p
Seriously, I'm sure there will be more activity in the morning.
"Threadkiller!"
You expected something else? :p
Seriously, I'm sure there will be more activity in the morning.
posted 4 years, 9 months ago
view in context
on Hard Days for Hospice
I consider caring for those who are nearing the end of their mortal life to be another part of being pro-life. I have to question whether the talking heads that claim I should vote for them on a pro-life, pro-family agenda really mean what they say when they are again trying to destroy quality of remaining life for another helpless segment of our society. How many of those trying to reduce medicare hospice coverage have been to one of those depressing near-death nursing homes recently? Are they willing to commit to going to one themselves when their time comes or will they want to stay in their homes or a caring hospice environment? Who in their right mind would rather face cancer or some other approaching fatality as another discard in an overworked depressing smelly facility that isn?t homelike?
Is it any wonder that some folks feel pressure to opt out and do the ?death with dignity? bit? Of course, this might also be a way to encourage people to get on with it, like the state of Oregon did to Barbara Wagner recently ( http://www.katu.com/news/26119539.html ). Guess that means it?s not just the conservatives who can be talking heads.
Is it any wonder that some folks feel pressure to opt out and do the ?death with dignity? bit? Of course, this might also be a way to encourage people to get on with it, like the state of Oregon did to Barbara Wagner recently ( http://www.katu.com/news/26119539.html ). Guess that means it?s not just the conservatives who can be talking heads.
posted 4 years, 9 months ago
view in context
on The Big Look
Hmmm... While I think ?land of statewide importance? is fine, I?m afraid I get to be the cynical one today. My biggest concern is the 1,000,000 person growth forecast and making rather questionable decisions based on it.
Please explain to me just how do we expect this growth to be realized by 2025? We don?t have the working class brick apartment forests that east coast and mid-west cities do. Our working class neighborhoods are subjects of arguments over ?gentrification? while environmentally minded folks scream about too much commuting. They are symptoms of the wall this 1,000,000 number will hit: we have no new affordable housing for the working class within responsible range of the jobs they need.
We have an extreme unwillingness to build affordable housing upwards (multi-story) to allow real people a chance to live close within our limited urban space. This means that matching people, transportation, and employment will make any decision, however well intentioned, moot when election season comes around and voters can force land use laws to change again.
We keep playing the ?last man in? game, saying in effect, ?now that I?m in the lifeboat, we can leave everyone else behind to sink.? In less caustic terms, we are here and things shouldn?t be allowed to get any worse, but we shouldn?t have to give anything up to provide that. Well, if the forecast is right, we are either all going to be crammed into the same boat or a lot of folks will look for something better that isn?t overloaded and ready to sink.
So lets pretend for a minute that we can find living wage work for an additional 500,000 folks, where do we think they are going to live (along with their 500,000 dependents)?
The point is that without adequate affordable housing for working class earners within realistic commute range of living wage employment, one of two things is exceptionally likely to happen:
a) the growth estimates will prove overblown and things won?t really change much in my community (or the entire Willamette valley, for that matter), no matter what the land use laws are, or
b) the population explosion within relative commute range will force urban gentrification and suburban sprawl around the valley (I know it will also impact the other side of the ditch as well, but they aren?t under Oregon?s land use laws) with growing public pressure blowing any land use restriction out of the water at the ballot box.
I suspect it will be ?a? rather than the alternative, because I don?t see the industrial base or services industry being able to keep enough folks working to afford home and shelter for their families. No significant increase in demand means no real impetus for change.
Added: Now for the fun part, any bets on whether the conversation on air will be even close to what I read the questions to mean? I'm personally guessing I have less than a 50% chance, but that's based on history, not on how I read the topic... ;|
Please explain to me just how do we expect this growth to be realized by 2025? We don?t have the working class brick apartment forests that east coast and mid-west cities do. Our working class neighborhoods are subjects of arguments over ?gentrification? while environmentally minded folks scream about too much commuting. They are symptoms of the wall this 1,000,000 number will hit: we have no new affordable housing for the working class within responsible range of the jobs they need.
We have an extreme unwillingness to build affordable housing upwards (multi-story) to allow real people a chance to live close within our limited urban space. This means that matching people, transportation, and employment will make any decision, however well intentioned, moot when election season comes around and voters can force land use laws to change again.
We keep playing the ?last man in? game, saying in effect, ?now that I?m in the lifeboat, we can leave everyone else behind to sink.? In less caustic terms, we are here and things shouldn?t be allowed to get any worse, but we shouldn?t have to give anything up to provide that. Well, if the forecast is right, we are either all going to be crammed into the same boat or a lot of folks will look for something better that isn?t overloaded and ready to sink.
So lets pretend for a minute that we can find living wage work for an additional 500,000 folks, where do we think they are going to live (along with their 500,000 dependents)?
The point is that without adequate affordable housing for working class earners within realistic commute range of living wage employment, one of two things is exceptionally likely to happen:
a) the growth estimates will prove overblown and things won?t really change much in my community (or the entire Willamette valley, for that matter), no matter what the land use laws are, or
b) the population explosion within relative commute range will force urban gentrification and suburban sprawl around the valley (I know it will also impact the other side of the ditch as well, but they aren?t under Oregon?s land use laws) with growing public pressure blowing any land use restriction out of the water at the ballot box.
I suspect it will be ?a? rather than the alternative, because I don?t see the industrial base or services industry being able to keep enough folks working to afford home and shelter for their families. No significant increase in demand means no real impetus for change.
Added: Now for the fun part, any bets on whether the conversation on air will be even close to what I read the questions to mean? I'm personally guessing I have less than a 50% chance, but that's based on history, not on how I read the topic... ;|
posted 4 years, 9 months ago
view in context
on As We Are: Teen Parents
I'm glad these women chose life for their children.
I really am interested to hear the conversation this morning, but I have no questions to ask. Instead, I wish to follow an old tradition (both an Irish cultural one and a personal/family one) and offer a blessing to these mothers, their children, and the many more like them:
May you find each day filled with
enough music of life to calm your way,
twice the strength you need to meet your struggles,
thrice the patience you hope for when stressed,
four times the friendship needed to overwhelm loneliness,
and an unending supply of overflowing Love that floods your hearts and homes...
(btw, the blessing is unique... written just for these folks)
I really am interested to hear the conversation this morning, but I have no questions to ask. Instead, I wish to follow an old tradition (both an Irish cultural one and a personal/family one) and offer a blessing to these mothers, their children, and the many more like them:
May you find each day filled with
enough music of life to calm your way,
twice the strength you need to meet your struggles,
thrice the patience you hope for when stressed,
four times the friendship needed to overwhelm loneliness,
and an unending supply of overflowing Love that floods your hearts and homes...
(btw, the blessing is unique... written just for these folks)
posted 4 years, 9 months ago
view in context
on August Ideas
The interactions today have brought a show thought to mind:
What do we want TOL to be? Do we see a difference between the actual radio show and the online thread? Do we want to encourage every voice to be heard or to foster robust debate? Do we want to regulate certain behaviors in the interests of promoting a less threatening community or should we foster a freedom of speech ethic that allows strongly help positions to be argued? Can we even hope to foster long term community in the online side when the average participation in threads falls to rarely more than one or two of us after 24 hours?
Is the online structure simply to offer a means of interacting with the AM show that parallels the phone bank, or is there more here that should be promoted and encouraged?
What differences do we see in how we define a TOL community? Do we need the hosts and staff to define this, or does the audience elevate to actually participate in the decisions and responsibilities an enduring community will require?
I'm sure you can better frame this one, but I think you have the idea.
What do we want TOL to be? Do we see a difference between the actual radio show and the online thread? Do we want to encourage every voice to be heard or to foster robust debate? Do we want to regulate certain behaviors in the interests of promoting a less threatening community or should we foster a freedom of speech ethic that allows strongly help positions to be argued? Can we even hope to foster long term community in the online side when the average participation in threads falls to rarely more than one or two of us after 24 hours?
Is the online structure simply to offer a means of interacting with the AM show that parallels the phone bank, or is there more here that should be promoted and encouraged?
What differences do we see in how we define a TOL community? Do we need the hosts and staff to define this, or does the audience elevate to actually participate in the decisions and responsibilities an enduring community will require?
I'm sure you can better frame this one, but I think you have the idea.
posted 4 years, 9 months ago
view in context
on The Next Generation
Ok, I?m a white guy, so I don?t directly qualify for this conversation, at least not what was asked for in the initial post. But I do have a question for any of your quests who are of color; it is influenced by an experience I had back when Jesse Jackson ran for President (remember way back when he visited Salem?). Several folks I worked with got involved in a political discussion... I was asked if I considered voting for Jesse Jackson and I said ?no?.
On the spot I was called a racist, before I could even explain.
It didn?t matter to them that I happen to have a problem with pro-abortion politicians, not to mention politicians who claim to be ministers of the Gospel and still in favor of ending hundreds of thousands of human lives each year.
That really stung, the fact that I remember it so clearly might emphasize the fact. Problem is, even in the current campaign I have heard undertones of this same thinking, and it leaves me concerned about the future.
So the question for any minority guest who hopes to be our leader some day is: have you gotten past the point of judging folks who have non-racial dislikes of candidates who happen to be from an ethnic minority (potentially including you), or do you think future leaders from African-American, Latino, and Asian communities should presume that folks who don?t vote for them are bigots who should be treated like the troglodytes with white hoods?
(Dave, sorry I can't really think of a better way to ask this; however, if the course of the conversation presents one, please feel free to follow that)
On the spot I was called a racist, before I could even explain.
It didn?t matter to them that I happen to have a problem with pro-abortion politicians, not to mention politicians who claim to be ministers of the Gospel and still in favor of ending hundreds of thousands of human lives each year.
That really stung, the fact that I remember it so clearly might emphasize the fact. Problem is, even in the current campaign I have heard undertones of this same thinking, and it leaves me concerned about the future.
So the question for any minority guest who hopes to be our leader some day is: have you gotten past the point of judging folks who have non-racial dislikes of candidates who happen to be from an ethnic minority (potentially including you), or do you think future leaders from African-American, Latino, and Asian communities should presume that folks who don?t vote for them are bigots who should be treated like the troglodytes with white hoods?
(Dave, sorry I can't really think of a better way to ask this; however, if the course of the conversation presents one, please feel free to follow that)
posted 4 years, 9 months ago
view in context
on Salem Party on Thursday Night
The Ram, just down the street from me. I will endeavor to be off work and there to say hello, though I can't promise when. Don't worry about saving stuff for me, I'm just interested in saying hello.
posted 4 years, 9 months ago
view in context
on Schools Left Behind
Perhaps I could interject a fact or two:
In the final vote (post conference committee), more Democrats than Republicans voted for this in the House (D: 198 yes, 6 no, 7 didn't vote; R: 183 yes, 33 no, 5 didn't vote; I: 2 no) and only one fewer in the Senate (D: 43 yes, 6 no, 1 didn't vote; R: 44 yes, 3 no, 2 didn't vote; I: 1 no). The Oregon and Washington vote was unanimous for the legislation; this includes all members of the House (Earl Blumenauer, Peter DeFazio, Darlene Hooley, Greg Walden, David Wu, Brian Baird, Norman Dicks, Jennifer Dunn, Doc Hastings, Jay Inslee, Rick Larsen, Jim McDermott, George Nethercutt, and Adam Smith) and Senate (Maria Cantwell, Patty Murray, Gordon Smith, and Ron Wyden (all names strung together from the Wahington Post's votes pages... for example, the Senate's is http://projects.washingtonpost.com/congress/107/senate/1/votes/371/ )).
I would submit these do not reflect the overriding mind-set of the archetypes of conservatism.
From what I can find, the most conservative of the Republicans complained about NCLB and prefer the "A PLUS" bills (S.893 and H.R.1539) that purport to provide opt-outs for the states to allow more local control.
Not saying I like either the NCLB legislation or the conservative alternative, but I want the conversation to have a bit of reality here. Please feel free to review the Library of Congress website if you feel I am misrepresenting those facts ( http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/bdquery/z?d107:h.r.00001: ).
In the final vote (post conference committee), more Democrats than Republicans voted for this in the House (D: 198 yes, 6 no, 7 didn't vote; R: 183 yes, 33 no, 5 didn't vote; I: 2 no) and only one fewer in the Senate (D: 43 yes, 6 no, 1 didn't vote; R: 44 yes, 3 no, 2 didn't vote; I: 1 no). The Oregon and Washington vote was unanimous for the legislation; this includes all members of the House (Earl Blumenauer, Peter DeFazio, Darlene Hooley, Greg Walden, David Wu, Brian Baird, Norman Dicks, Jennifer Dunn, Doc Hastings, Jay Inslee, Rick Larsen, Jim McDermott, George Nethercutt, and Adam Smith) and Senate (Maria Cantwell, Patty Murray, Gordon Smith, and Ron Wyden (all names strung together from the Wahington Post's votes pages... for example, the Senate's is http://projects.washingtonpost.com/congress/107/senate/1/votes/371/ )).
I would submit these do not reflect the overriding mind-set of the archetypes of conservatism.
From what I can find, the most conservative of the Republicans complained about NCLB and prefer the "A PLUS" bills (S.893 and H.R.1539) that purport to provide opt-outs for the states to allow more local control.
Not saying I like either the NCLB legislation or the conservative alternative, but I want the conversation to have a bit of reality here. Please feel free to review the Library of Congress website if you feel I am misrepresenting those facts ( http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/bdquery/z?d107:h.r.00001: ).
posted 4 years, 9 months ago
view in context
on Do You Know This Girl?
um, no offense, but you might want to update the description on your first link above...
Washington, Yakima Valley, near Wapato. Rural Rehabilitation (Farm Security Administration). Chris Adolf, his wife, six of their eight children and his teams
the title says Thurston County (for example, Olympia is in Thurston); it's the opposite side of the Cascades from the Yakima Valley.
Washington, Yakima Valley, near Wapato. Rural Rehabilitation (Farm Security Administration). Chris Adolf, his wife, six of their eight children and his teams
the title says Thurston County (for example, Olympia is in Thurston); it's the opposite side of the Cascades from the Yakima Valley.
posted 4 years, 9 months ago
view in context
on
I?ve been involved with many facets of this...
In ?94 we adopted an Alaskan Malamute (the dog in your picture is a Mal?) whom we named Kenai from Tacoma?s animal shelter. Two years later, he got suddenly sick and we were unable to save him. He was a wonderful buddy and I still miss him.
At almost bottom (financially and personally) just before Christmas in 2004, I gave my last dog, a golden named Lance, up to the Oregon Golden Rescue. I was living out of the back of my pickup and had exhausted every means of feeding both of us that I knew of. I felt it was the best I could to for him; the folks there later told me he went to a widow who had recently lost her husband. I miss him, too.
Hmmm... I could turn this into a towering set of stories, so before I get going, let me cut myself short.
Ok, I?m a dog person (and a big dog person at that), so there being a bunch of cats at a shelter is sad, but not much of an interest to me. The dogs there, however, do pull at my heart. They know their old world is destroyed, something tells them (I don?t know for sure, but I suspect the distress of dogs that have been there a few days gets to the new one pretty quickly) and most are ready to commit their loyalty 150% to whomever will show them warmth and affection.
In ?94 we adopted an Alaskan Malamute (the dog in your picture is a Mal?) whom we named Kenai from Tacoma?s animal shelter. Two years later, he got suddenly sick and we were unable to save him. He was a wonderful buddy and I still miss him.
At almost bottom (financially and personally) just before Christmas in 2004, I gave my last dog, a golden named Lance, up to the Oregon Golden Rescue. I was living out of the back of my pickup and had exhausted every means of feeding both of us that I knew of. I felt it was the best I could to for him; the folks there later told me he went to a widow who had recently lost her husband. I miss him, too.
Hmmm... I could turn this into a towering set of stories, so before I get going, let me cut myself short.
Ok, I?m a dog person (and a big dog person at that), so there being a bunch of cats at a shelter is sad, but not much of an interest to me. The dogs there, however, do pull at my heart. They know their old world is destroyed, something tells them (I don?t know for sure, but I suspect the distress of dogs that have been there a few days gets to the new one pretty quickly) and most are ready to commit their loyalty 150% to whomever will show them warmth and affection.
posted 4 years, 9 months ago
view in context
on
Well, I find that we have a pretty good following at our feeder and our neighbor's. Of course, I am recognized by every cat in the neighborhood... and they know not to wait around to see what I'll do this time... >:}
Normally, I use pitchers of water when I'm on the deck (second story apartment balcony) and I do a good alpha male stalk and chase when I see them while I'm on the ground. New cats hunting in our area learn quickly to live in mortal terror of me, even though I've never knowingly injured one. Amazing the impression cats give when they think they are no longer top predator at a given spot and they believe you are.
Meanwhile, we have two different troupes of Chickadees, a Wren family, several groups of Juncos, Nuthatches, the ubiquitous Gold and House Finches, and occasional visits from Jays, Flickers, and Grosbeaks.
Normally, I use pitchers of water when I'm on the deck (second story apartment balcony) and I do a good alpha male stalk and chase when I see them while I'm on the ground. New cats hunting in our area learn quickly to live in mortal terror of me, even though I've never knowingly injured one. Amazing the impression cats give when they think they are no longer top predator at a given spot and they believe you are.
Meanwhile, we have two different troupes of Chickadees, a Wren family, several groups of Juncos, Nuthatches, the ubiquitous Gold and House Finches, and occasional visits from Jays, Flickers, and Grosbeaks.
posted 4 years, 9 months ago
view in context
on Portland Meet-Up Reminder
I hope your get together went better than you hoped. Looking forward to when you come down to Salem.
posted 4 years, 9 months ago
view in context
on Relationships and Religion
I?ve though all night about how to address this one, but not having read the book, I have no frame of reference. I noted on their site that Peterson recommends it, but still, I really don?t know where it goes or how it gets there.
My experience with Jesus depends on relationship with Him and with His church (the group of believers, often called ?the body? by Christians). I?m not locked into a given denomination or building, but I do believe in being involved and active in a local congregation (I can elaborate if it?s desired). I do like the emphasis the Evergreen Community has on sharing the Apostle?s Creed as a base; I can agree with that without question.
Beyond that, I think it best serves my Lord to hold off on this thread until I see where the show goes. Sorry, Dave, no questions from me this morning.
My experience with Jesus depends on relationship with Him and with His church (the group of believers, often called ?the body? by Christians). I?m not locked into a given denomination or building, but I do believe in being involved and active in a local congregation (I can elaborate if it?s desired). I do like the emphasis the Evergreen Community has on sharing the Apostle?s Creed as a base; I can agree with that without question.
Beyond that, I think it best serves my Lord to hold off on this thread until I see where the show goes. Sorry, Dave, no questions from me this morning.
posted 4 years, 9 months ago
view in context
on Relationships and Religion
Thanks for sharing that, Sarah. I am truly sorry that you have had such pain.
I would encourage you to take a little time to read a pretty straight forward little book, ?Mere Christianity? by a guy named C. S. Lewis (he was one of the best explainers of what our core beliefs are from the last century). I would personally hope you could read it together with your husband... sounds like you both got some confusing messages from this experience.
If I can help or answer questions in any way, please feel free to email me (my eddress is in my profile) and I?ll do what I can.
I would encourage you to take a little time to read a pretty straight forward little book, ?Mere Christianity? by a guy named C. S. Lewis (he was one of the best explainers of what our core beliefs are from the last century). I would personally hope you could read it together with your husband... sounds like you both got some confusing messages from this experience.
If I can help or answer questions in any way, please feel free to email me (my eddress is in my profile) and I?ll do what I can.
posted 4 years, 9 months ago
view in context
on July Ideas
I think there is a show in the story of Barbara Wagner ( http://www.katu.com/news/26119539.html ). Even if I don?t think we can afford every new drug for health care under our current health care system, I definitely see a disturbing trend to devalue this woman?s life in our state?s response that while we won?t take on responsibility for this drug, the plan would cover ?physician aid in dying?... I have to wonder how many others have gotten letters like this and felt all the more alone and isolated?
Washington, are you listening to this? You have a ballot initiative and vulnerable populations too...
Washington, are you listening to this? You have a ballot initiative and vulnerable populations too...
posted 4 years, 9 months ago
view in context
on What's an Uncut Forest Worth?
Not sure where I fall on this one, but I do have some questions.
How can we be sure that a forest offset is really a permanent asset? Is anything envisioned that would allow the asset to increase in base value to the landowner as trees grow older, or to penalize a forest holder if they choose to strip-mine the trees they have allowed someone else to subsidize?
Are there any proposals to involve some form of public trust? For instance, could a landowner commit property to a government ?offset trust? where they would still own the wooded property, certified inspectors would estimate volume annually, and where there would be a poison pill financially if they (or subsequent owners) later tried to turn the trees into lumber (chips, etc.)?
I guess I would always worry that you would see some owner purchase a sequestered stand and see dollars in board feet without anything to make that environmental irresponsibility fiscally prohibitive. I look forward to listening in on the conversation.
How can we be sure that a forest offset is really a permanent asset? Is anything envisioned that would allow the asset to increase in base value to the landowner as trees grow older, or to penalize a forest holder if they choose to strip-mine the trees they have allowed someone else to subsidize?
Are there any proposals to involve some form of public trust? For instance, could a landowner commit property to a government ?offset trust? where they would still own the wooded property, certified inspectors would estimate volume annually, and where there would be a poison pill financially if they (or subsequent owners) later tried to turn the trees into lumber (chips, etc.)?
I guess I would always worry that you would see some owner purchase a sequestered stand and see dollars in board feet without anything to make that environmental irresponsibility fiscally prohibitive. I look forward to listening in on the conversation.
posted 4 years, 9 months ago
view in context
on Teen Dating Abuse
Thanks for coming on, both on-air and here. What you are doing is very important, please keep up the good work.
posted 4 years, 9 months ago
view in context
on Teen Dating Abuse
Dave:
Thanks. I noted that you commented on how it would be difficult to summarize what I was saying, and I sympathize... the thoughts were more my actually trying to challenge what I felt Sarah was saying. I would have given you something a touch clearer if I could have guessed what direction the show would take or even known who the guests were going to be. BTW, I know Sarah works hard, not trying to get on her case as such... I just care a lot about youth and have spent a lot of time reflecting on the issues as I've seen them and have strong opinions (yeah, I have to admit that I can really get going if I feel things are being glossed).
Honestly, I think you did well at finding what I think is the most important issue. Considering that the majority of your audience isn?t likely to be teens who need help, but their parents and adult social network... we need to be challenged to face our collective responsibility for modeling something better than blind ambition, self-centeredness, and insatiable hunger for power or we shouldn?t be surprised if our sons (and daughters) act the same way. I especially thought what the gentleman from K. Falls had to say was particularly appropriate... I can tell he works with young men and cares about what they become.
Thanks. I noted that you commented on how it would be difficult to summarize what I was saying, and I sympathize... the thoughts were more my actually trying to challenge what I felt Sarah was saying. I would have given you something a touch clearer if I could have guessed what direction the show would take or even known who the guests were going to be. BTW, I know Sarah works hard, not trying to get on her case as such... I just care a lot about youth and have spent a lot of time reflecting on the issues as I've seen them and have strong opinions (yeah, I have to admit that I can really get going if I feel things are being glossed).
Honestly, I think you did well at finding what I think is the most important issue. Considering that the majority of your audience isn?t likely to be teens who need help, but their parents and adult social network... we need to be challenged to face our collective responsibility for modeling something better than blind ambition, self-centeredness, and insatiable hunger for power or we shouldn?t be surprised if our sons (and daughters) act the same way. I especially thought what the gentleman from K. Falls had to say was particularly appropriate... I can tell he works with young men and cares about what they become.
posted 4 years, 9 months ago
view in context
on Teen Dating Abuse
Sarah:
Thanks for the clarification (the on-air ad also clarifies some of the tone). I do find it a bit odd that your post almost implies that parents and their relationships with their children have no responsibility for the situation. If that is indeed your position, I must respectfully disagree.
Emotional bullying and obsessive hormone driven relationships aren?t new, just the tools. Notes taped to lockers aren?t as intrusive as texts, but only if a young man or woman doesn?t have a strong enough self image and family support system to deal with it.
Perhaps I don?t understand after all. Is the point of the show to say abuse happens without addressing why? I would submit that anyone who has worked with or spent any time with youth (yes, I have, though not for the last four years) could confirm the situation without ever resorting to a study.
Was your point that preteens and teens are pressured or lured into sexually active relationships before they are old enough to make rational informed decisions? Who should actually know that person well enough to advise them? Their friends? Why not their parents?
For a moment, lets say that there is no interaction of drugs or alcohol in any of these relationships, that boys aren?t still trying to get ?lucky? by altering their dates emotional states to the point they will say ?yes?... no, wait, that still happens today, doesn?t it? If you went to a public high school, I would bet your or one of your friends was on the losing end of that ploy, right?
Isn?t becoming an adult confusing enough? I must suggest that without a responsible adult to help a young person figure it out that we wind up with an entire culture of Narcissists. Isn?t a logical extension of that enough selfishness that hurting someone else that you have emotional power over something that only matters if you get something? Why should the teens be any different if the adults are that way?
Are you honestly meaning that a positive adolescent transition to maturity doesn?t ideally depend on parental leadership? Aren't there enough immature self-centered adults all around us to call that into question? Isn?t it just that much harder to actually grow up when you don?t have someone who should really know you and have your respect? Someone with enough authority to tell you the truth even when you don?t want to hear it, someone who can set boundaries that protect you from your own foolishness?
Maybe you were implying that the willingness teens have for putting themselves into compromising situations has nothing at all to do with what our culture claims the norms for adult interactions should be. If so, I would submit you are wrong; they watch us and in their eagerness to become adults themselves they copy messages into their own lives that make them as hurt and confused as many of us were when we made the same mistakes.
What can we do about relationship violence? What do we do about it in adult relationships? Support the hurt person and get them out of harms way if at all possible, right? Who has not only the right but the responsibility to do that if not a parent? In this current social climate where actual legal rights of the parent to intervene are curtailed, isn?t the strength of a parent?s relationship with their adolescent the best hope to add enough sanity to change the situation?
I hope the show goes well. I fear talking about whether the problem exists is just an exercise if it doesn?t look at a realistic need to address mitigating the risks for the kids in our lives.
Thanks for the clarification (the on-air ad also clarifies some of the tone). I do find it a bit odd that your post almost implies that parents and their relationships with their children have no responsibility for the situation. If that is indeed your position, I must respectfully disagree.
Emotional bullying and obsessive hormone driven relationships aren?t new, just the tools. Notes taped to lockers aren?t as intrusive as texts, but only if a young man or woman doesn?t have a strong enough self image and family support system to deal with it.
Perhaps I don?t understand after all. Is the point of the show to say abuse happens without addressing why? I would submit that anyone who has worked with or spent any time with youth (yes, I have, though not for the last four years) could confirm the situation without ever resorting to a study.
Was your point that preteens and teens are pressured or lured into sexually active relationships before they are old enough to make rational informed decisions? Who should actually know that person well enough to advise them? Their friends? Why not their parents?
For a moment, lets say that there is no interaction of drugs or alcohol in any of these relationships, that boys aren?t still trying to get ?lucky? by altering their dates emotional states to the point they will say ?yes?... no, wait, that still happens today, doesn?t it? If you went to a public high school, I would bet your or one of your friends was on the losing end of that ploy, right?
Isn?t becoming an adult confusing enough? I must suggest that without a responsible adult to help a young person figure it out that we wind up with an entire culture of Narcissists. Isn?t a logical extension of that enough selfishness that hurting someone else that you have emotional power over something that only matters if you get something? Why should the teens be any different if the adults are that way?
Are you honestly meaning that a positive adolescent transition to maturity doesn?t ideally depend on parental leadership? Aren't there enough immature self-centered adults all around us to call that into question? Isn?t it just that much harder to actually grow up when you don?t have someone who should really know you and have your respect? Someone with enough authority to tell you the truth even when you don?t want to hear it, someone who can set boundaries that protect you from your own foolishness?
Maybe you were implying that the willingness teens have for putting themselves into compromising situations has nothing at all to do with what our culture claims the norms for adult interactions should be. If so, I would submit you are wrong; they watch us and in their eagerness to become adults themselves they copy messages into their own lives that make them as hurt and confused as many of us were when we made the same mistakes.
What can we do about relationship violence? What do we do about it in adult relationships? Support the hurt person and get them out of harms way if at all possible, right? Who has not only the right but the responsibility to do that if not a parent? In this current social climate where actual legal rights of the parent to intervene are curtailed, isn?t the strength of a parent?s relationship with their adolescent the best hope to add enough sanity to change the situation?
I hope the show goes well. I fear talking about whether the problem exists is just an exercise if it doesn?t look at a realistic need to address mitigating the risks for the kids in our lives.
posted 4 years, 9 months ago
view in context
on Teen Dating Abuse
Wow... this one is so broad that I have honestly no clue where you are going with it, and so important that it deserves four or five shows. Would you please clarify a bit where you see this one going? Who will you have on? I see at least six vastly different directions you could be taking, any of which deserve long posts... let me give you a hint of what I mean:
Why is only one or the 3 R?s mentioned? Why aren?t we considering that teens (especially young ones) are not learning Respect, Restraint, and Responsibility? Are parents not modeling these things enough for our youth to have learned/caught them?
What is the role of parents in American Society? Have we abrogated leadership and training for trying to be friends? What are other successful societies on planet earth doing?
What ever happened to statutory rape? Why are we allowing youth who are hormone driven to be abused?
What role does sex in the media, entertainment, and advertising have on youth? Do we need to change this?
Are we as a society concerned that there is a stereotype saying that any woman who isn?t driven to be a corporate ladder-climber is limited to worth based on her ability to be a self-propelled sex toy? Isn?t it important to re-humanize women for our youth (and our adults, for that matter)?
Why is feminism missing the dichotomy that they are promoting the emotional equivalent of harems for men? Why does protecting women from this nonsense fall to folks our society considers troglodytes instead of the ?enlightened? women who are supposed to be leaders?
Actually, I could go about a dozen more directions. Since I normally don?t know which way Emily and Dave are headed until the show starts (at which point I am working), I appeal to you to give us a bit more info. Please!
Added...............
Dave:
I guess this is just going to be a show expressing surprise that this sort of thing is happening more or earlier than it did when we were that age without a realistic look at why or what can actually be done. If that is actually the case, my only comment is that microscopes, hand-wringing, and band-aids won?t address the problem.
Why is only one or the 3 R?s mentioned? Why aren?t we considering that teens (especially young ones) are not learning Respect, Restraint, and Responsibility? Are parents not modeling these things enough for our youth to have learned/caught them?
What is the role of parents in American Society? Have we abrogated leadership and training for trying to be friends? What are other successful societies on planet earth doing?
What ever happened to statutory rape? Why are we allowing youth who are hormone driven to be abused?
What role does sex in the media, entertainment, and advertising have on youth? Do we need to change this?
Are we as a society concerned that there is a stereotype saying that any woman who isn?t driven to be a corporate ladder-climber is limited to worth based on her ability to be a self-propelled sex toy? Isn?t it important to re-humanize women for our youth (and our adults, for that matter)?
Why is feminism missing the dichotomy that they are promoting the emotional equivalent of harems for men? Why does protecting women from this nonsense fall to folks our society considers troglodytes instead of the ?enlightened? women who are supposed to be leaders?
Actually, I could go about a dozen more directions. Since I normally don?t know which way Emily and Dave are headed until the show starts (at which point I am working), I appeal to you to give us a bit more info. Please!
Added...............
Dave:
I guess this is just going to be a show expressing surprise that this sort of thing is happening more or earlier than it did when we were that age without a realistic look at why or what can actually be done. If that is actually the case, my only comment is that microscopes, hand-wringing, and band-aids won?t address the problem.
posted 4 years, 9 months ago
view in context
