Q&A With The Author Of A Sexual Assault Blacklist

By April Baer (OPB)
Portland, Oregon Sept. 23, 2016 6:47 p.m.

Amid the array of things under discussion to make communities safer, we ran across one woman who’s maintaining a blacklist of people accused of sexual assault, rape, or other dangerous behaviors. It’s not published and is only accessible to bookers, talent buyers, and record labels who’ve approached her directly.

Jill (not her real name — she’s a survivor of sexual assault and has been threatened for the blacklist) organizes some DIY house concerts. She agreed to speak to us about why she started the blacklist and how it works.

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Our interview has been condensed for space and clarity.


Q&A with Blacklist Author

Jill: I live an work within a context where I'm around women all the time. They're my friends, my colleagues, my peers and my collaborators sometimes. We always end up talking about our experiences. A majority of people have been sexually assaulted, raped, molested or abused. It's such a prevalent theme at this point that I can't get away from it, no matter what. Even more so because I am a sexual assault, rape and molestation survivor. It doesn't feel like a choice. It's like I have no other options because nothing's done that's been successful to this point.

April Baer: Have you ever had interactions with the justice system?

Jill: I've been ... a rowdy teenager and a homeless kid. I had maybe two really lovely experiences with police officers. The rest were based in scare tactics and aggressive things. I'm aware of the privilege of white women, women who can present in a certain way. So I'm not very trustworthy of the criminal justice system. I've never tried to report a rape or sexual assault, because I was terrified about what the person who did these things to me would do. The Brock Turner case is a perfect example of why a woman wouldn't want to report it. If I'd been through what she's been through, I wouldn't want to go to the hospital at all. And she didn't even get the justice she deserved.

Baer: When did you get to the point of wanting to do something outside a traditional system of prosecution?

Jill: A friend of mine was raped at a party by a guy in band that's well loved by the all-ages DIY music community. I was about to book them for one of the shows that I did. Another one of the bands I was about to book was publicly called out. I went, "I just wish there was a way I could know. I wish someone could tell me." Part of the reason that people don't go to venues and tell the people in charge is they usually get told they're full of s---. Or [the venue says,] "That's none of my business." I thought, well, they [other venues] can't do it. But I can do it. I'm a DIY space. Women don't have to not go to shows because another person doesn't believe their story. It started with me talking to my friends saying, "Do you want to put them on a list of people I will never work with?" Suddenly I had other people who had venues and DIY record labels in the area saying, "We like what you're doing, can we use the same list? We agree people need to take accountability. They shouldn't be enabled by constant social warmth."

Baer: How did you decide who would be on your list?

Jill: I felt like one of the reasons I was doing it was because no one else would. So there's an assumption here that women need to be believed when they speak out. Absolutely. I'm tired of being considered a liar just because I'm a woman. That kind of claim comes with a lot of context. I've had people tell me, "You're just believing accusations. They [the accuser] could be lying." I feel like those people have not read things like the account of the victim in the Brock Turner case. I feel like they haven't been in the same position I've been, and where other women has been. Just talking about it is one of the most difficult things on earth. I couldn't find anything more authenticating than that.

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Baer: Has there ever been a situation where somebody came to you with a  name and you decided not to put it on the list?

Jill: Absolutely. And first of all, they [victims] came to me with questions about the list. They wanted to make sure their claims were OK to be on this list. One friend of mine said, "There's a couple of guys I want to talk to you about. This guy's kind of creepy. This guy is just a f---ing a------. And this guy is also creepy." So, one guy was already on the list. The other person, I said, "This guy sounds like a real jerk, and maybe I personally won't work with him, but I'm not going to put him on the list." And she said, "I totally understand."

Baer: How many people have taken the blacklist into account for bookings?

Jill: I know for a fact about 11 people who worked with me on this. I know other people have asked them. People can ask questions. And the 11, they're not big.

Baer: What reaction have you had?

Jill: My awful reactions maybe top out at 10 [encounters]. The rest of the reaction has been positive, empowering and supportive. Not just of me. This is 100 percent about the woman or man who was brave enough to come forward and talk about this. I have gotten bad reactions. The majority of them are from people who are on the list, or related to or dating someone on the list. I'll talk with them. Do they need mental health resources, do they need rehabilitation resources, do they need a consent workshop? I can get them hooked up with that. One person on the list right now, just had their first therapy appointment in their entire lives yesterday.

Baer: Have guys on the he list confronted you directly?

Jill: Very directly and very aggressively. I've taken some classes on healthy communication. You do this thing where you say, "Hey, you're a good person but this was brought up about you. What do you think about that? I really respect your opinion." I get an overwhelmingly good reaction, but sometimes you can't talk people down. Some people I just have to cut off communication. Some of the people on the list are dangerous. Not everyone on the list is has committed sexual assault or rape. Some are extremely violent or are not taking care of themselves or their mental health to the point where people are scared for their lives. This is a societal community problem. I have people on the list who have reported other people on the list. Everyone has abusive tendencies in them. We have to constantly work against these natural ways we've been conditioned, to not consider consent, or only in certain ways.

Baer: Has anyone ever come off the list?

Jill: Yeah, there was a really lovely moment. One of the people very early on the list.
People who ran other shows said, "This guy was a real jackass. He wrote all over our walls and was threatened women." He confronted me, extremely aggressively. I was like, "Hey, man, I used to do street art too! But this looks bad on the entire community. So if you want to be doing what you're doing, you have to step up, be a person, and be accountable for something you did wrong."  He said, "You're so right. Let's talk."

I have a couple of situations with victims who [said], "I want this person on the list, but not forever. If this person gets help, I want them taken off the list." There have been others.

I don’t want people to think they [the people on the list] are bad people. They’re absolutely not. I had one conversation with someone on the list who said, "I feel like a bad person." I said, "First of all, this list is private. Nobody needs to know you’re on it except the people who are running these shows. I will personally talk to all those people and let them know you are committed to getting better."

Baer: Do you make any differentiation between smaller betrayals of consent and larger ones?

Jill: I think consent in every form is a huge issue in our community right now. For me the small ones always signal the big ones. That's not just a personal point of view. They are red flags. They indicate a lack of respect for other person. I've worked with people who are just a------- and who won't ask your consent before hugging you. In the same sentence they'll say something extremely misogynistic. I have to wonder, what happens when they get alone with a woman? At this point, I don't know who is a sex offender. I'm doing the only thing I think I can do.


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