"Make less strangers," is what Chris Williams, creator of Front Porch Sessions, says he's trying to do. "It's harder to hate," he says, "when you know somebody ... know their story."
Courtesy Chris Williams/Front Porch Sessions
Chris Williams wants to “make less strangers in the world.” That’s the tagline for his storytelling, dialogue-fostering series called Front Porch Sessions. Williams is a story coach, an improv performer and an educator. Like many storytelling event producers, he selects a theme for the speakers who will tell their stories in front of a live audience. But unlike other events, after the stories, audience members are asked a question that they discuss in small groups for 10 minutes afterward. He began these conversation events in 2016 as a way to bring people together and create connections between strangers. He joins us to talk about the most recent FPS event — the first one to be held in person since 2020 — and how he tries to “make less strangers” in his other pursuits as well.
Note: The following transcript was created by a computer and edited by a volunteer.
Miller: From the Gert Boyle studio at OPB, this is Think Out Loud. I’m Dave Miller. Chris Williams believes that there are too many strangers in the world and he has a solution, a storytelling and dialogue fostering series called Front Porch Sessions. Williams is a story coach, an improv performer and an educator with a masters in conflict resolution. He started doing Front Porch Sessions about seven years ago as a way to bring people together and to create connections between strangers. He recently held the first in- person event since before the pandemic. Chris Williams, welcome to Think Out Loud.
Chris Williams: Thank you for having me.
Miller: What was your first reason, biggest reason for starting Front Porch Sessions?
Williams: You know, it’s not that complicated. I really just felt like if people talked more to each other and listened more to each other, then we, the royal we, all of us might get along more. We might understand each other more. But mostly it’s so much harder to hate someone, like to hate them, to spit venom when you know someone. You don’t have to like [them]. I know a lot of people that I don’t like. But I don’t, I don’t hate anyone. I’m not trying to spit venom at anyone. And it really started to feel like that was the direction we were headed. And if you look at the past handful of years, I don’t think I was wrong. So I wanted to do something. I wanted to be a part of something to help folks get to know each other.
Miller: It seems like one of the biggest differences between what you created with Front Porch Sessions and other storytelling-based events like The Moth or Back Fence PDX is that after the storyteller tells their story, they ask a question of the audience. And then, well, tell us what happens after that and tell us the reason that you added this twist to the event?
Williams: Yeah, absolutely. And a shout-out to Back Fence PDX. That’s how I got started in storytelling in the first place with Frayn Masters. So great storytelling event. I wanted to do something a little different. I love storytelling. I love it. I could listen to folks tell stories forever. But as an audience member, I want a - storytellers are vulnerable. We’re a vulnerable bunch of folks because we’re sharing something personal about ourselves and through that shared experience of listening to a story, you connect to the storyteller, as an audience member. And I wanted to go one step further. So let me back up. In Front Porch Sessions there’s always three storytellers. After each storyteller is done with their 10-15 minute story, they then ask the audience an open-ended question. And then for 10 minutes, the audience gets to pair up or create a little group of folks that they do not know.
Miller: That’s one of the rules you can’t go with, with your boyfriend or your partner?
Williams: I encourage you to bring family or friends but not for the conversation part, maybe just for the support part. And one of the most enjoyable things, because I’m the MC for the night, is when I’m explaining this to the audience. There’s always a groan, there’s always a groan. You’re like what? You’re gonna make me talk to a stranger. So I quickly remind them, hey, everyone, first of all, storytellers are being vulnerable. So why can’t we be vulnerable also? We all used to do this when we were kids. It’s not that complicated.
Miller: That may be true, but there’s a lot of things that we lose practice of and a lot of things we do as kids that we can’t do anymore - just going up to strangers at a playground and immediately playing with them?
Williams: Yeah. And I would say, Dave, why can’t we do that anymore? Right? Who made that rule? You see what I’m saying? So I’m giving everyone permission.
Miller: How many questions do the storytellers ask?
Williams: They’re usually mixed up with the story that they just told? So like ‘what’s your true north?’ Something simple. And that would make more sense if you heard this story. But I always prep everyone in the audience with a very short question and I give them two minutes to pair up. And I say you can pair up with anyone. For this you don’t have to find a stranger. And the question is simple, but it’s very, very calculated. And that question is - ‘turn to someone to your right or left and just tell them one of your favorite things about yourself.’ So this is your chance to brag but so many people find that difficult - just to say something positive about themselves. So I’m instantly trying to break that ice, right? Trying to get them a little bit out of their comfort zone. And some people have absolutely no problem talking about themselves in a positive way.
Miller: Yeah. Those aren’t always the people you want to spend a lot of time with? (laughs)
Williams: Yeah well. (laughs) And that brings me to another point. I always tell folks, ‘if you’re someone that listens a lot and doesn’t speak up, take this opportunity to step outside of your comfort zone and maybe talk more. If you’re someone that takes up a lot of space with your voice, like me, that’s me, then see what it’s like to sit back and really take in what folks are saying to you.’
Miller: So you think of yourself as somebody who takes up a lot of space with your voice?
Williams: I can. I come from a family where my mom and my brother took up a lot of space with their voice.
Miller: And you had to compete?
Williams: Well, no, my dad and I didn’t compete at all. We were listeners. We were the listeners of the family. And I’m still a listener. However, when I decide to talk, uh yeah, I can take up a lot of space. And I know that about myself.
Miller: I noted that you got a masters in conflict resolution from Portland State University. What led you to pursue that particular discipline?
Williams: That that’s such a good question. So I graduated from Colorado College in Colorado Springs. I moved to LA right away. I thought I was gonna be an actor. Then I left, always thinking I would come back. I came here because I had a friend here. I actually have four really good friends that I grew up with in Michigan, who all live here. I didn’t know what to do and I started looking for just programs. What would interest me going back to college? I was like, ‘maybe I’ll go back to college’ and I found conflict resolution. I’ve always been very, very comfortable in situations that I think a lot of people are uncomfortable in. I also don’t think all conflict is bad at all. I think conflict is actually necessary to have movement. The program just spoke to me. I went and met with the head of the program and he convinced me to apply. I did. I wrote a five-page essay. I got in. And it absolutely changed my life. It changed my life.
Miller: In what ways?
Williams: One, it taught me that I had spent - how old was I? I must have been like 26 - all of my life. Not really. Even though I just told you that my dad and I were listeners, I learned that I wasn’t listening as well as I could. Like we had a whole class on listening.
Miller: I’d like to take that class. What did you learn in that class?
Williams: I learned that listening isn’t about me. It’s about the other person and I want to be fully present. And I’m not perfect at this, at all. I think a lot of us listen to respond.
Miller: To wait for the moment to interject?
Williams: Exactly. Exactly. And we’ve all been in those meetings where there’s that person or those people where you can just tell they weren’t really listening. And in improv, which I love, you can tell the person that isn’t listening to improv because while everyone is in space, they’re like, gardening. Because they’re not paying attention to what’s happening.
Miller: They’re waiting for their own pre planned funniness?
Williams: Yes, which is the death knell for improv. That does not make for good improv.
Miller: So you had done improv before you went to get your masters in conflict resolution. How do they talk to each other, improv and conflict resolution?
Williams: Oh, that’s a really good question. I think so. Let me say this. I understand people that hate improv that do not like improv. I 100% get it. I get it. I have friends who are like, ‘I love you. I’m never going to come to your show.’ Doesn’t insult me at all. Improvisers can be so annoying. And bad improv is painful. That said, everybody should take improv classes because it just makes you more fluid, it makes you a better listener, so there’s a connection with conflict resolution. And it also helps you solve problems in a way that is, another conflict resolution term, a win-win. It’s a win-win for all of us. If I’m doing improv and I’m gonna make someone the butt of my jokes, that’s not really fun for that other person, that partner, my partner on stage. My goal is to help make that person shine. With conflict resolution my goal isn’t to crush you, to destroy you, demoralize you, make you look stupid. My goal is to be a bridge to help folks connect to understand each other more.
Miller: How does all of this connect to the work you’re doing and have done for a number of years now in Portland public schools?
Williams: Oh my goodness. Well, I’m the manager of the student engagement coaches and what we do is in our title, student engagement.
Miller: But I still need more information. I mean, it may be in the title, but it’s not totally clear to me what a student engagement coach is?
Williams: Yeah, you’re not the only one that has that issue! So, student engagement helps students that are struggling and families that are struggling, to connect to their educational experience. We’re advocates for them. So if it’s an issue with the teacher, we work with the teacher and we work with the student and we try to figure out what’s going on. We do home visits. If there’s something where someone’s always showing up late, we have conversations with them. But really what we’re doing is we’re figuring out what their story is and we’re not blaming anyone. It’s like, ‘hey, what’s going on with you?’ And when you give, in particular a child - a young person, your undivided attention and you just wait, you just pause. I’ve had third graders do this. They will give you so much important information that won’t just help you to help them, but it will actually help you to help the entire school.
These are, in my opinion, everybody’s just a walking story. I don’t care how old you are. I don’t care where you’re from. We all have these stories, but we all don’t listen. And I’ve just been doing this long enough that I hear the story everywhere and it’s all about giving that initial connection. So in improv, once we find what the game is in a scene, if you’re watching improvisers on stage, everyone just lights up because they know what to do and they just all wanna play this game. And I think in storytelling, once you find that connection, the same thing happens.
So I took a Lyft over here with a guy named Dave, a Greek gentleman. I know he’s Greek because he told me he’s Greek. But I have a cane right now because I had a knee replacement three weeks ago. I told him that and he said, ‘oh, I had one seven weeks ago.’ We talked the entire 15 minutes here. That little connection opened up for him a way into me and opened up for me, oh, not only did we both have the same operation, but you’re a little bit ahead of me and we were just vibing. We had nothing in common. I got in that car and for the first two minutes we were silent.
Miller: And he opened it up or you did?
Williams: We kind of both did. He said, ‘Are you ok? How’s your leg?’ And then I told him I had knee replacement three weeks ago and I watched him straighten up. He said, ‘what? I was seven weeks ago’ and we just chatted about that. He had his on the left. Mine was on the right. I know a lot about Dave now. I know a lot about Dave.
Miller: We only have two minutes left and which is not enough time. But I want to go back to something you said earlier but it seemed like you were saying that with a third grader, sometimes you could pause and you get the whole story. How important is that pause and being comfortable with silence for the work you do in various venues?
Williams: It’s everything. And I think as Americans, I don’t think we are taught or raised to be comfortable with that silence, but that silence is everything. It’s everything in a scene, in an improv scene. It’s everything in a pause if you’re telling a story.
Miller: It’s also terrifying at times. I think about this on the radio. Part of my job is to make sure that audio signals are going out. Yes. But I also know that it can be super powerful. And if you pause, sometimes people will say more.
Williams: 100% and that’s it. And I’ve watched people not pause, fill up the space or give a bit of a pause, but it wasn’t long enough. And someone’s about to say something and they get cut off. And that breaks my heart when I see that. And we do that to our kids a lot. So, yeah, I’m someone that gives space.
Miller: Chris Williams, it was a pleasure talking with you. Thanks so much for coming in and good luck with your knee.
Williams: Thank you.
Miller: That’s Chris Williams. He is a storyteller and an educator and the creator of Front Porch Sessions which went all virtual for a while. But as of about two months ago, they are now back in person.
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