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In this week’s installment of “For the Love of All That is Good, Please Save Me From This Superabundance,” I offer a smattering of ways to disappear a whole shield cone volcano’s worth of cucumbers (and cucamelons, of all things), which is what I’m contending with this week. I have already put up 10 quarts of dill pickles and may end up with one of those honor-system farm stands in front of my house before this season is over. For now, I Google image-searched “cucumber recipes” so you don’t have to!
Obviously, the most beautiful thing you can do with too many cucumbers is make a cold gazpacho. It will be the color of pampered moss, and you can add a drizzle of buttermilk or nice oil, maybe sprinkle a flotilla of edible flowers across the top if you really want to stick the landing. You can make it as smooth as cashmere or chunky like salsa, depending on your preferences/sensory needs; you can add honeydew melon (outstanding this time of year, and closely related to cucumbers! Wild that they’re both types of berries) to sweeten it or avocado to enrich it. You could eat it on its own, or toss it with cold Korean noodles and sprinkle on sesame seeds and garlic chives.
I also like to add sliced or diced cucumber to a pitcher of iced hibiscus tea (sometimes I sweeten the tea to make it more like agua fresca de jamaica) — it adds something extra fresco. Cucumber is also great for flavoring plain water, which has the bonus of making you feel like you’re in a day spa.
Oi kimchi is a quick kimchi, more like a salad; instead of taking a day or two to develop the fermented tang, you toss it together and let marinate for a couple hours. I’m mostly buried in the foot-long White Sun cucumbers so I have to slice them, but if you’re growing stubby pickling cukes (like a Kerby or a poona kheera), you can opt to stuff the cucumbers to make oi-sobagi instead.
If you need to make this vegan or shellfish-free, I’ve suggested ingredient subs below. This kimchi will continue to ripen in the refrigerator, but it’s not good for long (a week or two, tops) so just make what you’ll eat in a few days. Makes 1 quart
Ingredients
Vegetables
1 ½ pounds Korean cucumbers or pickling cucumbers, quartered lengthwise and cut into inch-long pieces
1 teaspoon fine sea salt or a few generous pinches of coarse sea salt
4-5 garlic chives or 2 scallions, cut into inch-long pieces (about ⅓ cup)
¼ medium white or sweet onion, thinly sliced
Seasoning paste
2 tablespoons gochugaru (Korean chile flakes)
1 tablespoon fish sauce (or vegan fish sauce or even seaweed stock)
2 teaspoons saeujeot (salted, fermented shrimp; to make this vegan/shellfish-free, use doenjang or red miso instead)
2 cloves garlic, finely grated or minced
1 teaspoon finely grated ginger
2 tablespoons rice syrup (or 1 tablespoon agave, or 2 teaspoons sugar)
Roasted sesame seeds and garlic chive blossoms (optional)
Instructions
- Set the cut cucumbers in a strainer set over a bowl or the sink and sprinkle with salt, tossing to coat evenly. Let the cucumber’s liquid drain off for about 30 minutes, then add the salted cucumbers (don’t rinse!) to a bowl with the garlic chives and sliced onions.
- In a small bowl, stir the seasoning paste ingredients together, then add the sauce to the vegetables and mix until covered evenly. Cover and let it sit for a few hours to release more liquid and let the flavors meld — this will happen faster on the counter than in the refrigerator, but either way, stash any leftovers in an airtight container in the fridge and eat them within a week.